School of hard nocks
by Kajos
Summary: Merlin Arthur slash. When Merlin goes to his new 6th form he knows it's not going to be easy, what he doesn't expect is that his extra work is trying to get him expelled, he's started to have weird nightmares the subject of which is just waiting for him.
1. chores and introductions

**Hi first Merlin fanfic but here goes. Rated M for slash later and possibly some language and violence.**

**Disclaimer: Merlin does not belong to me nor do any of it's characters they all belong to the BBC **for now...

**Hope you enjoy it and please review!**

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Merlin was dreading this day. Only his mother would convince him to apply for a scholarship at this place. Then again only he would take it. The deal though wasn't as nice as it might have been he got a full ride but had to work outside school hours as a cleaner and helper for older student who paid the school extra to provide them with go fors and helpers. His room was tiny it looked like they had converted one floor of servants quarters for the scholarship students.

That tells you exactly how they were treated in the school. They were charity cases no one wanted them there and they were servants that haunted the lessons thus the name toms a shortening of phantoms though they would say it was because they were like stray cats. Merlin had read up on the school though and new the terminology well. They had a very big old boys thing going. People whose families had been going to the place for years, parents on the boards and things till they were like royalty. Merlin had been there a week and today he was up at five in the morning to clean shoes, iron shirt and pants and make breakfast to the orders of his assigned student. He was in lower sixth and his tormentor in upper. He had the room number but that was it.

He finished and bagged the cloths carefully hanging them on one arm and grasping the shoes in the same and balancing the tray on the other. He had been told to sort these things and wake him at exactly seven in the morning with breakfast. The clothes were expected to be ironed that morning. The breakfast well cooked and the shoes shinny. There wasn't uniform in the sixth form but the students tendered towards wearing smart shirt and trousers with ties and jackets. Merlin wasn't really that bothered and wore jeans and a t-shirt. He was ostracized anyway as a lower sixth scholarship student taking two A2s that year along with three ASs. He had made no friends in his time already there.

The only encouraging thing was his tutor, Mr Gaius, a king man who had been teaching chemistry there for years and knew his mother who had worked there for a while. He wasn't like most of the teachers a oxford graduate who was the best in his field who was willing to teach. He was a practical man who had been hired having turned a small school science department on it's heals a few years out of college and got a year to get over B's across the board. He wasn't that keen on his placement and didn't put up with superiority in his classroom. Most people called him cat lover. He liked his scholarship students because they were capable. The curse of the scholarship was that generally in order to get one hear you had to have an unbelievably high test score and that's was an extra strike against you.

As he approached he noticed that the entire floor had four rooms on it in comparison to his, which had 30. He swallowed and knocked lightly on the door glancing at his watch to see it was five past.

"Come in." Merlin pushed the door open to see the boy stood starring at the door in dressing gown. "You're late. Run me a bath leave my breakfast over there and for god's sake where is my newspaper. I expect it to be here when I wake up." Merlin put the food down and lay the clothes on the bed. "In the bathroom. I will be bathing before dressing you buffoon. Really you toms are supposed to be intelligent." Merlin said nothing moving through to find the bathroom, hanging the clothes on the back of the door and placing the shoes by a chair.

"I expect my bath warm and full!" He shouted. Merlin quickly turned the taps to start the water and made sure it was the right sort of temperature before returning to the room for the rest of the cloths opening the wardrobe he got a jacket out and a tie. He decided to leave the boxers and he would obviously complain he needed them. Then he moved out to the room.

"Sorry about the paper. No one told me." He was sat eating his breakfast while he waited for the bath to run.

"What's your name?"

"Merlin."

"Last name to go with that?"

"Emrys."

"Never heard of it."

"It's not that common."

"Well, I am Arthur Pendragon, no King Arthur gags please. It's an old name and one you will respect. I'm sure you've heard of my father head of Camelot industries and of the school board here." Merlin was silent this was about normal for an introduction around here. Name and where the power of the family came from.

"If you expect me to pay homage you'll be waiting a while. Is there anything else you expect to be done in the morning?"

"No, but I expect you to be here by four this evening." Merlin turned and left. He stormed down the corridor to the kitchen to have breakfast. Most people ate in their rooms or the hall but free riders like Merlin did their work then ate in the kitchen with the servants. A girl sat next to him.

"So your Arthur's new project." She was quiet young and not unattractive. "Sorry, I'm Gwen my father is head of the workshop. I've been here most of my life."

"I'm Merlin. What do you mean by 'Arthur's new project'?"

"Oh well, every year Arthur gets a scholarship boy working for him, we wanted to give him one of the men but his father had some notion of his getting to know those below him better, only Arthur manages to get every one to leave within a term of starting at the school and has another take over. You might say his goal is to get through you so fast he can rid the school of all the scholarship students by the end of the year." Merlin swallowed.

"Well that's not as reassuring as I had hoped."

"Yeah, Arthur's a prat at school anyway. In the holidays when he's not around the others he's actually a descent person but you'd never know it."

"Half term only what? Seven weeks away?"

"Yeah, if you last that long and stay over the holiday you might get to see the real him."

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**Will Merlin out last Arthur's previous servants or fall at the first hurdle? Slash will come in next and later chapters. Review please or I may not write the next chapter.**

**Kajosxxxxx**


	2. lists and warnings

That day went by far to quickly. Merlin attended his lessons sitting at the back and making notes in silence. Luckily the others did not want the seat and sitting at the front or near the door he'd ad his head waked things thrown at him his bag swiped later to be found on the rugby field and it had been a gauntlet of out stretched legs to reach the door at the end of lesson. His classes were small no more than five of them in each but the teachers didn't complain about his distance from the group. Though other schools would long ago have tried to rid themselves of this ritual discrimination and bullying Camelot saw no need for such a thing. The scholarship students succeeded what more did they want?

So it was that he was easily able to reach Arthur's room well within time. The older boy was looking over a document of some sort.

"So you are fast tracking in chemistry and mathematics? I'm sure good old cat lover has taken a shine to you."

"Is that my school record?"

"Yes, I decided to pick it up earlier today. Interesting it say that you chose to move schools due to your previous school not wishing you to return yet they gave you a sterling reference and gave no reason for their hesitance to accept you in to their 6th form. Explain."

"I was involved in a few events at the school though not through my own fault. I was unable to get a restraining order because the person In question had a very good lawyer and it was impacting on the school so it was suggested I move away for a while."

"Details."

"Are not any of your business."

"Everything is my business, Merlin, learn that quickly. No matter I'll know soon enough. Anyway I will brief you now on what your duties will be as long as you are in service to me." He indicated a chair and Merlin sat. He was still wearing his classroom clothes despite that most people changed in to designer everything after class not that their shirts weren't designer.

"First you are to place a newspaper on my bed side table in the morning, without waking me, second I expect you to arrive on time with my breakfast cooked properly at seven along with my breakfast you will have my clothes. I expect a fresh pair of trousers and shirt everyday. My jacket needs cleaning twice and week but I expect to find the content of its pockets where I left them when it is returned in pristine condition. My shoes should have been shined and all my clothing for the day is to be place in the bathroom and a warm bath run. Ties must be washed after three wears and ironed. The rest of my clothing will be washed after it is worn. You will have to collect that. You will also be expected to negotiate any repairs of my things and delivery of them where needed. Organising my appointments, sorting out my briefcase for the school day. My bed will need making each day from now on and stripped and turned at the end of the school week and after the weekend. Any shopping I need is also your duty, I expect you make sure my toiletries never run out without a new one readily available that includes my supply of condoms and the carpet need hovering daily, the bathroom kept spotless.

"School commitments will be no excuse for any of these things to not be properly done; neither will sickness. Though I will not be please should I be ill because of you. You will have access to a maintenance supply of money through which you must fulfill these obligations. I don't care how or when you do these things just see to it they are done with out things such as hovering while I'm trying to work or returning clothes while I'm sleeping. You will have a key but you will note that on the door there is a tulip above the door handle it turns if it is upside down you are not to enter, nor are you to enter while I am sleeping except to deliver my paper. Is that all clear?"

Merlin starred for a second while his memory assimilated the list he had just been given. "Yes, perfectly."

"Oh and if you ever enter this room while I have company in that slovenly attire you will rue the day you ever heard the name Avlon." Merlin nodded and noted to him self not to wear the baggy jean again. He guessed as long as he looked what his mother would call presentable; he was only a servant in Arthur or anyone else who would be in the room's eyes so it would not matter. "You will start your duties now, here is a list of people who wish to see me, arrange it. The folder also contains my timetable, a pager for you and you must take spare laptop to be fixed it can't take movies off DVD's."

Merlin looked at the laptop, he just needed some DVD ripped software and a player. He took the folder and laptop. Inside was not a pager but a pager, phone with Internet. It appeared to be on an account. Students were not allowed phones over than mobiles so base on the contact that included every name on the list with out a number next to it this was how Arthur expected him to complete the job. While Arthur started on his schoolwork, he went through to a small office Gwen had said would be useful for him.

It was not much more than a cupboard with a small table and light but it was sufficient to sit at and work on the appointments. He had acquired Arthur's appointment book as well in order to write them out for Arthur, the book was filled with various different handwriting none of which he suspected to be Arthur's. It took him half an hour to negotiate all but one of the appointments and write them in to the book. No one on the list seemed to be surprised not to be talking to the man himself. The last one struck dread into Merlin. _Uther Pendragon. _Tentatively he rang the number and it was picked up instantly.

"Yes. Who is this?" The voice was deep but clear.

"This is Arthur's assistant, he asked I call to arrange an appointment for him to see you." He said deciding to change from what he had used so far which was an appointment to see Arthur.

"I'm not Uther you know."

"What? Do I have a wrong number?"

"No, What's your name?"

"Merlin."

"Merlin you will soon learn that just like Arthur his father does not answer his own phone. My names David. This is the most direct line to him so I expect we'll be talking often." The conversation went better from there. David well knew the demands of working for a Pendragon and gave him some helpful advise. They confirmed a time and place for the meeting.

"Well, busy, busy."

"Yes, sorry I've taken up all your time."

"No, Merlin its fine. Good luck." Merlin really wished people would stop saying that as he stood and walked out to return the appointments book to Arthur. The Laptop took no time to place the software on to but what took time was setting it up so he could simply right click on the DVD and select a macro designed to rip it for you. He knew that Arthur probable would complain other wise. He placed this back as well and went to look through the bathroom and made a list of things that needed buying and cleaned the bath and sink before returning to his desk and pricing the the shopping list he had detail of the account he was o use as well a visa for it in the folder and having worked out where he could shop and planning a route he stood and took the folder with him placing the phone in his pocket he exited in to the main room.

"Is there anything else you will need this evening? I was going to go buy some more toiletries."

"While your out get me some Carlsberg and half a dozen Bacardi breezes."

"Okay." He was going to a supermarket anyway. "Only, I'm sixteen."

"And?" Arthur really didn't seem to care that it was against the law.

"And it will be here in about an hour." He looked at his watch and walked back to his room dropping the folder and adding two more items to the list. Before shoving it in his back pocket and going out to his bike. Most students were not allowed off site except at weekends but exceptions were made for toms as they chose to attend and put up with so much to attend it was unlikely they were going to disappear and if they did…so what?"

Arthur looked out the window at the odd boy as he disappeared on the bike. He was remarkably capable not that he would tell him. He might be a challenge. He had sorted the computer beyond fault not that it had been needed and the appointments were written in sensibly and legibly. If he came back with the beer then Arthur wasn't sure what he would do. He hadn't even winced at the idea of updating his condom supply which he must be doing that night. This was going to be a challenge. Oh, well the young heir liked challenges.


	3. dreams and shadows of the past

**Two chapters added today. Now we have the slash. Poor Merlin... Hope you enjoy more to come.**

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_He ran his hands over his chest to get his attention. "Harder."_

"_It'll hurt you."_

"_I want you, faster." There was a pained expression of uncertainty. "Please… please I need you… God… harder." Then the face changed..._

_"No, not again please no. don't"_

_"But merlin, your mine. I know you like it really..."_

Merlin woke in a sweat and looked around his tiny room gasping before looking down at the vibration phone he had left on the sheets.

The boy was impossible to break. Despite midnight pages, constant demands on him and every god damn thing he could think of doing to him Merlin hardly seem to notice Arthur's attempt to break him over the first four weeks. No one before had managed the weekend sheets with out questions or complaints. He'd even gotten her to drive the girl home!

Merlin's continued presence did not escape the notice of Arthur's friends.

"So, you got him to get up a two in the morning before a school day in order to give your one night stand a lift off sight and hand wash your sheets which still had a full condom on them and he didn't complain?"

"No he just said 'Do you want them starched?' "

"God, that's hard. Have you tried whacking him? That worked in eleven when you had that red head."

"Tried it. I've tried everything, he doesn't seem to care and he answers back. He actually looks bored most of the time."

"Only one thing for it. We know how to deal with this sort of swot." Said Jasper the outsider of the group he and his two cronies only gain a place due to the fact that next to Arthur he was the richest boy in the school. "We'll have a party in your room later and you can get him to bring some supplies in and we'll deal with it."

This was the first time Jasper had actually spoken on the subject of Merlin. Arthur nodded.

"Alright."

When Merlin's phone buzzed with a text asking for nachos. He stood and walked down to the kitchen taking ten minutes to prepare the food and plate it up he carefully carried it up to the room and after taking note of the tulip went straight in. In the room stood the entire group of boys Arthur associated with. Merlin walked straight to the desk as the room fell silent and all eyes focused on him. Merlin stood turned and headed back towards the door when Jasper stepped out in front of him.

"Hello, Merlin." Merlin stepped back wards in to the enclosing circle of boys. "I'm so glad you chose to move to my wonderful little school, but I fear that perhapse we have all had enough of you playing prince, when you are in fact the pauper and always will be. It seems rather time you were put in you place." He punched him in the face. "I rather thing that the best way to stop people getting above them selves is to know them down." He kicked him a few times. Arthur was uncertain about all this but everyone else was all for it. "Come on you don't belong here. You didn't belong at home, you just don't belong with humans, boy." He elbowed him in the face. He leaned in over the bleeding wreckage of his face and whispered in his ear. "Don't worry though I forgive you." He nodded to his two cronies. They picked him up and dropped him face down on the bed.

"NO!" cried Merlin trying to squirm free. The boys tugged down on his jeans and left him exposed. Everyone watched no one stopping as Jasper undid his fly.

"There is only one way to show these thing's whose boss, they are like animals and animals have only two sure ways of knowing who is in charge, who eats who and who fucks who and none of us are cannibals." He knelt over the boy on the bed held his hips while Merlin began to sob in to the covers. Arthur watched in horror unable to make himself move or do anything as the cricket captain shoved his hard on in to the unadjusted and unlubricated opening of his servant and he did nothing. Merlin screamed as pain stopped him from struggling. He pumped in and out till he himself went and Merlin was dripping blood. "There, now run away_ boy._" He said spitting out the last word as he headed for the bathroom to clean up, the others patting him on the back. Arthur looked away as soon as it was over focusing on his bottle of beer while Merlin slowly pulled up his trousers and limped out the room.

Once everyone was gone Arthur did not retire. He stood staring at the bed horrified by what he had allowed to happen, but most all trying to figure out why he cared. He was a tom, a worthless thing that shouldn't be here but at the same time he cared. He was his servant and Merlin hadn't deserved that. He was excellent, did everything asked of him and more. In fact he was bloody wonderful. The really worrying thing was not that he cared but some where in him he wished he had been the one on top of the boy not Jasper. He had to help him, he left running up stairs he starred at the corridor filled with doors to rooms. Which one was Merlin's? He knocked on a door to be answered by a sleepy young boy.

"Do you know which room Merlin Emrys is in?"

"Merlin's in 12." He said before shutting to the door on his face he sprinted down the corridor looking at the doors. There. 12. He knocked. "Merlin?" He asked to no reply.

Merlin lay curled on the bed, he was dizzy and crying out the pain of being humiliated by these people in such away, and by _him. _There was knock on the door but he didn't answer hoping who ever it was would go away. They couldn't see him like this they would phone the police and then he would have to leave again and his mother would find out. Better he just left it. "Merlin?" came a familiar voice through the door but in his confused sate Merlin couldn't tell who it was. "Merlin, we need to talk. I'm sorry I had no idea he was going to do that. I should have stopped him." The voice continued but Merlin couldn't make sense of what was being said. "Merlin, please I'm not going to talk to you through this door." The door opened but Merlin didn't know who had just walked in his eyes were funny they wouldn't focus.

Arthur stared in horror at the bed. Merlins trousers were soaked through with blood and a pool of it spread over the bedding. There was a trail along the floor that he wouldn't have seen outside on the dark wood but on the light cheap carpeting it was scarily obvious. Merlin was in trouble. "Merlin, merlin? Can you hear me? God, we need to get you to a hospital." He grabbed the phone off the bed side table and dialed 999.

"Hello, I need an ambulance. It's my... friend he's bleeding. I'm in room 12 on the fourth floor of the main building of Avlon Boys." He put the phone down and prayed they got here quickly.

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**Please review! I will update... when I've written the next chapter. **

**Kajosxxxxxx**


	4. Emergencies and lying

**Hi there, this was not the easiest chapter to write I found it was important but a bit stuck in the middle of two much more interest chapter to write but it got there in the end. Enjoy and review.**

The ambulance arrived and went to the kitchen who sent Gwen to show them to the room. There were also police with them since no explanation had been given on the phone. They entered the scene first to find Arthur knelt at Merlin's side trying to get any response from him. He was gently pulled out of the way so the paramedics could reach him and start their work; it was obvious though that he would have to go to the hospital from the start. The police could see it was a rape incident straight away and took Arthur in to the corridor to talk to him while Gwen was sent to explain what had happened to the housemaster.

"You were the one to phone for the ambulance?" Asked the officer calm and gentle in his manner not know if this was a distraught friend or a penitent perpetrator.

"Yes, I found him like this."

"Right and his name would be?"

"Merlin Emrys."

"And yours?"

"Arthur Pendragon."

"You both attend this school?"

"Yes, I'm in upper sixth he's in lower."

"How is it you two are associated?"

"He's a scholarship student he pays for his board by acting a servant for me. Does laundry, shopping, tidy my room things like that…"

"Why were you looking for him at 1am?"

"He has a pager I… I…It sounds silly now but I needed him to clean my room after a I had some friend round before I went to sleep and he had dropped his phone pager in my room earlier."

"So he was with you earlier this evening?"

"Yes about two hours ago I got him to bring some nachos to my room, he must have dropped it then."

"And you noticed nothing different about him? He didn't mention anything?"

"Of course not, I hardly noticed he was there. He walked in quietly with the plate, put it on the side and left."

"Do you know of anyone who might wish Merlin ill?"

"No but I hardly know him, he just does his job and leaves." The truth of those words stung. They had probably spent more time in each others company than anyone else's over the past four weeks yet he knew next to nothing about him.

"Could you tell me who was at this party, just so I can check it happened." Arthur muttered a few names of people he trusted not so say a word and prayed he didn't want to look at his room. Luckily he nodded and went to ask Gwen he could find the boys. Arthur slipped off to the floors toilets and pulled out his phone he rang the people on the list warning them to tell the police they hadn't really notice Merlin and that he had just left and that the party finished just before he left and so on.

Merlin was absent for the next few weeks though Arthur did not dare go see him. He refused to have him replaced until he was told Merlin was leaving and in the mean time the servants filled in. According to Mr Gaius who had been to see Merlin quite often he was on the mend and though quiet and a bit jumpy didn't seem to much worse for wear.

A week before half term Arthur woke and picked up the paper off his bedside table only to notice a sheet flutter to the floor. Fascinated he picked it up and instantly recognised it to be one of Merlin's timetables. At seven on the dot the boy moving slower than normal entered the room placed his breakfast in it's place and proceeded to the bathroom He ran a bather organised his cloths tuted over his toiletries and made a shopping list before re emerging in to the main room and disappearing out the door. The whole thing just happened as at first Arthur first sat stunned at his abrupt return to both school and work and then as he tried and failed to catch the attention of the boy.

Merlin Arthur noted from a distance was like a ghost moving through the school as if he didn't exist. It was Wednesday when Mr Gaius called Arthur in to see him along with Gwen.

"Hello, I wanted to talk to you two about our mutual companion Merlin." What? This was everyone Merlin knew or was close to? Did he spend all his time down a hole? _No, he spent it all doing things for you, homework or just eating and sleeping and he often went short on those. _Arthur suddenly felt even worse. "Though I am pleased to see him return, he has not been himself. Obviously after such a despicable attack one expects as much but I was just wondering how you two are finding him? In class he is with drawn takes notes and leaves as soon as he can. He does not answer and will not stop to speak with me." _Cat lover._ Said a stray though of Arthur's before he shoved it back down.

"I don't know he does seem in an awful rush all the time but he still talks and everything as much as he used to. He never really chatted as such before. What do you think Arthur?"

"Well…well he's certainly been quieter, but his work is as good as ever and he gets it done in good time."

"Yes but does he seem happy?"

"How should I know? What's he like when he's happy?" Gwen looked appalled at his callousness. "Now if this is all this was about I really do have much better things to be doing." With that he left. The week continued to the bitter end in the same kind.

"Merlin, over half term don't worry about the mornings. Take them off. I'll sleep in and eat in the kitchen." Merlin didn't look up from stripping the bed as her answered for the first time that week.

"I'll tell the staff. I shan't be here next week."

"Oh, going anywhere nice?" His question was met with silence and soon after Merlin left half his chores undone but Arthur rather than ring him up and complain did as he had done the rest of the week and asked the staff to send someone to finish.

Merlin hated the place as he walked to reception and signed in but his mother would worry herself to death until he spent at least some time here the promise that he would come here for half term was the only thing that allowed him to return to school for the last week. He was shown to a small tidy room with a desk, lamp, a small set of draws, and wardrobe and bed. He left he bag and they continued on to see the doc as he called him.

"Merlin, I always hate seeing patients return particularly under circumstances such as this."

"I'm only here for the week this time. Only that for my mum. I'm fine, I've dealt, I don't need to hear the same things again. I know it's not my fault, I know there was nothing I could do. I know I'm the victim. I'm not pitying myself, I'm not suicidal and I haven't got any thing nasty from him."

"What happened then? The truth. You know that nothing leaves this room without your permission, no exceptions."

"The truth?"

"Yes, you need to vocalise the truth Merlin, remember? That's where we always start."

"Okay…" Merlin proceeded on the true event of the night nearly a month previous.


	5. therapy and memory

**So glad I finally get to write this chapter. Love it to bits. Hope you do too. Lots of awwws for Merlin please! And lots of reviews too.**

That Monday Arthur tried to ring Merlin on the mobile to find it was switched off and felt ashamed. It was after all a work mobile so while away there was no reason for Merlin to have it on. Instead he rang his home number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I was hoping to talk to Merlin."

"Who is this?"

"Arthur I know him from school."

"Yes, I know he's mentioned you. I'm afraid he's not here this week."

"Do you have a number I could reach him at?"

"Not one I'm willing to give out. Goodbye." She hung up on him. Only his father had ever hung up on him. Suddenly he could see where Merlin got it from. Well if Merlin wasn't there he was damn sure somewhere else and now it was a challenge he was going to find him. It was surprisingly difficult. Like Merlin had dropped off the face of the earth it took his men until Wednesday to find the boy who seemed to be in a place called 'Druid Manor'. He was resolved to go see him since he was unable to get a phone number.

The place was in the middle of nowhere. Arthur entered without trouble and approached the reception.

"Hello, I'm looking for a Merlin Emrys who staying here." The place appeared to be some form of clinic.

"I'm afraid I can't grant access to residents with out their doctors consent."

"Well can I speak with his doctor?"

"Of course." She called someone by way of an intercom and a few moments later a man in a lab coat emerged through the sealed doors that lead further in to the building.

"Hi, I'm told your looking for Merlin. May I ask who you are?"

"My name is Arthur Pendragon, I'm a friend of Merlin's."

"You would be the one who found him?" Arthur nodded obviously this place was something to do with that night. That was weight off; he didn't have some kind of chronic disease.

"I would like to talk with you. Please come through." He led him through a maze of corridors to a small office with comfortable seating. "Firstly do you realise where you are?"

"I assume some kind of private clinic for his injuries?"

"Not quiet. We are a government run institute established to provide support to people have experienced rape. We don't deal so much with the physical effect but the far more damaging mental and emotional effects it can have. That's why all the secrecy and being in the middle of nowhere. Rape victims don't like to be fund by their abuser."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Secondly, how much do you know of Merlin's past?"

"Not much really, he left his last school for no real reason and his father isn't at home."

"Well, this isn't the first time he's been here, the reason he left his last school was a boy in the area raped him on the school site and he was unable to continue attending after several students walked in. Before that the same boy it turned out had on several occasions date rapped him. Unfortunately we were unable to get anywhere with the courts, he had extremely good lawyers. The best solution since his mother could not afford to move was to send Merlin away to school. A plan, which has rather back fired."

"God, I didn't know."

"Not really something he's going to tell everyone."

"No I guess not."

"Now I want to know how it was Jasper got anywhere near Merlin?"

"What!"

"Merlin told me what happened. Don't worry about your skin, I can't take any of this out side the building."

"It was all a horrible game. My father insists I have scholarships student look after me rather than the staff and it's always been a joke to make life so horrible they leave before half term. I know now that that sounds disgusting and not a joke at all but that was ho we thought how the others still think. When Merlin wasn't leaving I complained in front of the others and Jasper said he had an idea and we should meet in my room that night. I called Merlin up to the room with some stupid chore to do and they moved in on him. At first I though t they were just going to beat him up, which I didn't agree with but what harm would it do? Get him scared and he'd leave. Then Jaspers friends grabbed him and put him on the bed. They pulled his pants down. I thought they were going to make a joke out of spanking him then Jasper undid his zip and moved on to the bed behind him preaching all the this stuff and I was just frozen I couldn't look away as he did that to him." Arthur was crying, disgusted and angry at himself.

"I understand it's often hard for witnesses particularly in situations where they know both parties to over come shock and take action. Very few do. I see lots of friends and family of victims for sessions."

"Afterwards I couldn't look at him. I was ashamed of my part in it. For letting it happen. Then later I was looking at the bed and decided I had to do something so I went looking for him and found him curled up on that bed dieing. He would have died and he didn't care. He seemed to be trying to sleep it off or something!"

"Arthur, don't be surprised by this. For people who have experienced rape more than once the physical pain can be blinded by the emotional I strongly suspect that Merlin had no idea of the danger he was in. You saved him. If you hadn't have gone then no one would have looked until the next morning and would have found nothing more than his body. You did the right thing in the end. Find solace in that. I've met people who in similar situations have simply ignored what happened or run away."

"How is Merlin?"

"He's doing too well."

"How does that work?"

"Having a place of safety, escape destroyed like that. The humiliation of it being public and the invasion of a person that must have taken on nightmare proportions in his mind in to his life once more should be causing a complete system crash for Merlin. He seems though to have accepted it and moved on. I'm just waiting for the break down."

"Why don't you just treat him so there is no break down?"

"Not how it works. I can do as much as I like for him now but the break down will still be hovering beneath the surface. Anything could trigger it. I just need to find out once because once it's happened he can recover."

"What if it never happens?"

"Then he can never really get over it. He'll continue through life the quiet, angry, miserable creature he has been since the event. Perfectly functional but completely withdrawn and unable to make any safe contact with anyone it seems except Gwen and his mother."

"You know Gwen?"

"Yes she's been in a few times."

"Can I see Merlin?"

"Yes, normally I wouldn't after your proximity to the event but right now I'll try anything to get him to express any valid emotional response to what has happened. He's here four more days." He stood and led Arthur out the door and down the corridor opening the door to a small day room full of people in various states of well being. Some sat huddled talking to doctor or not. Merlin though was the other end of the spectrum sat at a table with a reading book looking very bored. The doctor stopped inside the door and went to attend to another patient watching Arthur and Merlin out the corner of his eye. Arthur approached the teen slowly.

"Hi, Merlin." Merlin looked up in horror and slammed the book shut.

"What the hell do you want now?!" Arthur staggered a bit taken aback by the tone.

"I wanted to see how you were Merlin. I was worried. I've been trying to talk to you since you left the hospital."

"Did I break one of your bloody rules about being raped on your clean sheets?!" The boy's eyes were starting to water.

"No Merlin. I wanted to apologise, I wanted to tell you that I really had no idea they were going to do that and if I weren't a useless coward I would have done something to sop them. I only realised my mistake after. Then I went to try and help you." Merlin didn't seem to have a response to this.

"I've spent weeks trying to work out all this but the fact is I'm a jerk. Worse than that. I treated you like shit. I treat everyone like shit. You did an exceptional job for a person who gave you no thanks or gratitude, who went out of his way to make it harder for you. When that wasn't enough I did this to you. I had no idea about your past. I can't imagine why anyone would do that to a person. Jasper I can understand after all none of the others stopped him and I don't think six months ago I would have even been disturbed by what happened."

"I can explain every time. Jasper won't let me go. He owns me, my body, my mind." Merlin's voice dropped to a whisper.

"It was Jasper before as well? God… I am so sorry but he doesn't own you. What ever happened whatever he did, you belong to you. Dear lord I sound like a bad movie."

"What difference does it make? He can get me anywhere I go. He can do what he likes with me and there's nothing I can do to stop him." He was crying now unstoppably. "When I went back he knew my room number. He was there every time, waiting for me. He just took me and left me like I was nothing more than an animated sex toy." The doctor was moving over now and Merlin slowly curled up and fell to the floor weeping.

"I'm going to see Jasper in jail for this." Merlin just laughed and the doctor looked sceptical. Inside though Arthur was burning with hatred for the boy. Jasper may have the lawyer so good they could keep him out of even a restraining order on this but Arthur had the best. Jasper was the second richest person in the school. He was the first and he was going to see Jasper sent down for this.


	6. returning and reciprocating

Arthur didn't go back until Sunday. He felt that showing up like he had was a bad idea. He had been planning to not go at all but then the doc had called him.

"Arthur, can you come in tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Merlin has progressed a lot but he will need to go back to school so he's going to need a lot of support to stay away from Jasper."

"He should go somewhere else away from him."

"No, he's made good friends there. Settled in well. He needs to face Jasper or live in fear. To do that he needs help."

"Okay, I'll try to come."

"How are you getting on Arthur?"

"Better since I came in. I don't feel like a complete bastard any more."

"Good see you soon then."

"Bye."

The place hadn't changed but this time the doc led him straight in to his office and Merlin was there. The two boys stood and starred at each other a moment before they both spoke at once.

"I'm sorry for shouting…"

"I'm sorry for being a bastard…" The word bastard floated in the air. Both boys smiled and left their apologies alone.

"I ask Arthur to come in because. You need to go back to school tomorrow. I realise this is difficult after last time you went back but I had an idea. I'm suggesting you have a bolt put on your door so you don't have to worry at night, the rest of the time it's a matter of saying no."

"If that was all there was too it…" doc held his hand up to stop him.

"It will be easier to say no if you have the ability to move away from him, to deny him access to you. That's where Arthur comes in. I was hoping you would be able to provide Merlin a sanctuary. You have a large space and if Merlin has somewhere to go where Jasper would not come after him. I know you are not maybe as close with each other as Merlin is with Gwen or Mr Gaius but obviously it is not always possible for him to go to Gwen such as at night and Mr Gaius lives off campus I'm told."

"That's it just let him in to my room when he needs me too? I can do that."

"Not just that. You need to make sure you let Merlin fight his own battle let him say no, but if the worst comes to the worst then Merlin will have an emergency bracelet similar to those epileptics sometimes wear. Since most likely if it is needed it will be difficult to deal with someone has to have the receiver and sort out a response."

"So, if he's being raped you want me to step in."

"He knows not to cry wolf with this and to be honest I never though this is the sort of thing I would ask of anyone but these are very unusual circumstances." Arthur thought for a second glancing at Merlin who refused to look at him as he considered his response.

"I'll do it. I owe it to Merlin."

The next day Merlin returned in the morning, after lessons had started. He was arriving at ten. Arthur looked around at his politics lesson and noted Jasper sat in the room as he entered. He had no chance of getting away with out his knowing and Arthur planned to keep an eye on him all of the school day and Merlin was to return to his duties straight away so he would be out of his room that evening.

All went to plan and Arthur smiled to see him waiting in the room. H handed over his bag from which Merlin extracted his appointments book and then handed it back pointing to the desk, reminding Arthur to do his homework. The evening was quiet until both of them had finished their work and Arthur invited Merlin to join him on the play station. He hadn't used one much in the past but was good at it. He and Arthur battled on for a few hours before it got late.

"I need to get back and do some homework."

"You should have brought it with you."

"Arthur I can't spend all my time here."

"I know. You want me to walk you back?"

"Would you? I'm just scared of him being there." Arthur nodded and stood up. They went out and walked up the stairs in a comfortable but uneasy silence. As they approached the room their footsteps slowed noticeably. Merlin pushed gently on the door and quivered at the face he saw waiting on his bed. Arthur stood to one side out of sight and let Merlin face this not quite alone.

"Merlin, I missed you last week."

" I didn't miss you Jasper. Please leave."

"Oh, are you cranky this evening. Did Arthur work you to hard? Don't worry I'm sure we can work out those kinks."

"No, we won't because you are going to leave my room right now."

"I'm starting not to like your tone boy."

"I don't care what you think of my tone." Said Merlin feeling empowered by Arthur's hidden presence. "Get. Out. Of. My. Room."

"I will tonight, my love. It is late and I have been waiting a long time but I'll be back tomorrow and I expect you to be more agreeable then." Merlin stepped back blocking Arthur from view as Jasper walked out the room. They both watched as he retreated down the corridor.

"Thanks for staying Arthur. I don't think I could have done that otherwise."

"No worries. He's sick, I can't fight your battles for you but I'm always here as emotional support."

"Do you want to come in for a minute or two?"

"Yeah I'm not sure I want to walk back on my own straight after that." They sat in the room and Merlin drooled in secret over Arthur's regal features knowing that Arthur would never know how he felt. "So, your gay aren't you?" asked Arthur. Merlin panicked thinking he'd been spotted. "The doc mentioned that you dated him a couple of times."

"Yeah, I did. Last summer before year 11 I met him in town. He asked me out and well, you've seen him. He's not bad looking so I said yes. We went to this bar in town and had some drinks. After that everything fuzzed up he slipped me something and then he took me in to the back room and I wanted it.

"The next day I regretted it but I blamed my self for getting drunk. He told me I had come one to him and I believed him except the next time I struggled and he forced me, which I remember perfectly. After that he used to wait outside school near holidays. Until finally he came in and cornered me in the toilets. He had locked the door behind him but that lock didn't work and some year eights walked in. The school of course got the police involved and they just sort of said that it might be best for everyone if I didn't come back particularly for the year eights." They sat in silence for a while.

"I have to say Jasper being gay worries me?"

"Why scared one of us will ask you out?"

"Jasper, yes, I don't want him asking me out. You don't worry me though."

"Because you know I never would?"

"No because I wouldn't mind you asking me out."

"How come?"

"I wouldn't mind going out with you."

"Arthur?"

"Yes."

"Will you go out with me?"

"Definitely." Arthur pulled him towards him and kissed him hungrily.


	7. immaturity and anger

Merlin leaned away from Arthur grinning from ear to ear.

"I thought you were straight."

"So did I till about a month ago."

"What when…"

"Yeah… not that it turned me on or anything." He said hurriedly before dropping his face into his hands. "That came out completely wrong." Merlin fidgeted not sure whether to say anything or not. "I realised then that I wished I was the one fucking you. I wanted to hear you moaning beneath me, to be inside you. God I want it so much."

"Hey, I don't sleep with guys on a first date." Said Merlin jokingly worried by the intensity of Arthur all of a sudden. Arthur smiled and lightened up.

"Sorry, it's just I've been thinking about you ever since and wondering how I'd ever get you to ask me out."

"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Well… I was sort of…"

"You were scared I'd turn you down!" Merlin screeched in laughter. Arthur blushed. "Arthur I…I've been having wet dream about you since I came here. I was kicking myself for it because you're so straight, all the girls and that."

"Yeah, well you've successfully made me bi. I even checked out Jasper earlier." Merlin fell about laughing and gripping his sides as he did and Arthur annoyed kissed him quiet.

When Arthur woke the next morning he grinned at the newspaper and timetable on his bedside table. He looked down and noticed that evening was marked out as a date with Merlin. He grinned even wider and sat up in bed to read the paper. About ten minutes later the door opened and Merlin quickly did his chores. Then walked over to the bed to kiss Arthur.

"Umm…I like this room service." He snaked an arm around Merlin's waist pulling him in to his lap with nothing but the silk sheets and Merlin's jeans between them.

"Arthur, you need to get up. I need breakfast and we really don't have time for that no matter what mood you might be in. Look, timetable your supposed to be having breakfast and I need to stop the bath before it overflows."

"Damn that timetable of yours." Arthur let him go but openly stared at his retreating arse.

"Stop ogling and get up Arthur." Merlin shouted without looking. Arthur just laughed.

The day passed far too slowly, for the first time Arthur could think off he found himself staring at clocks in lessons and doing homework at lunch to leave more time later. Jasper looked annoyed to his great satisfaction. He was seething in fact; he even snapped a pencil in one class, so loudly the entire class stared at him.

Finally the bell went and Arthur had to hold himself back from running to his room. He opened the door, luckily it was Tuesday and Merlin had chemistry last and would probably want to talk to Gaius afterwards. Arthur went straight to the wardrobe and pulled through the clothes trying to find something. He finally settled on some clothes he had for going clubbing. A tight red t-shirt and Jeans that sat nicely on his waist. He changed in a hurry and then sat down at his desk pretending to do homework.

"You certainly clean up nice." Arthur's head shot round at the voice. Merlin looked him up and down with a lopsided smile. "I love the t-shirt."

"Well I have a date tonight so I wanted to look good. I wasn't sure what to wear, first real date."

"You'll be fine. It's just like pulling except with a slightly different ending."

"Oh yes?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. You won't be getting any tonight."

"You keep saying that."

"Well, I don't screw a person till third date at least."

"Well how are you tomorrow night?"

"Hmmm…I think I have to work."

"I could have a word with your boss."

"I don't know he's a tyrant." Arthur laughed; he did that so much more these days. Merlin took his time doing his work. Straightening the room adding things to the shopping list and organising the useless besotted idiot. Arthur was bored though and decided to liven things up.

He padded in bear feet behind Merlin at his tiny desk. He dropped his arms round his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Are you done yet?"

"You sound like a toddler."

"The question still stands."

"Well in the role of parent I'll be done a lot quicker if you don't ask me."

"How about now?" he asked before being swotted away by a grinning boy.

"How old are you Arthur?"

"18 why do you ask?"

"It's just you do know I not legal?"

"Your in lower 6th that's legal."

"No Arthur, I'm 15. I was moved up a year. I'm not legal for another six months." Arthur sat down pale.

"Oh."

"It's not a problem though. I won't push charges of course but I thought you should know."

"Thank you. I just don't want to hurt you or push you. Why were you even going out with Jasper a year ago?!" Arthur asked a little agitated.

"I had only really just started looking at boys and he didn't say he was 17 he just asked me out."

"You were 14!"

"I don't need you to be my mother!"

"Yeah well I don't need you to be mine either!"

"You and Jasper are the same age! Your not complaining about me dating you!"

Arthur didn't have an answer for that and stormed out of the room. Merlin was angry as anything as the phone rang and he picked up.

"Hello!" he said sharply.

"Hi Merlin, It's Dave"

"Oh, hi Dave sorry, just having a couple of issues with Arthur."

"You better not be giving up now. You've lasted a great deal longer than anyone else."

"No, no, nothing that bad."

"Right, Uther's coming in to school for a board meeting and wants to pop in to see Arthur afterwards. N about an hour."

"Right, I'll tell Arthur get everything ready and make my self scarce same as usual."

"Actually, the boss heard you'd stuck with it despite the incident."

"You heard about that?"

"It happened in his school. He knows. He wants to meet you."

"Shit."

"I sort of expected that reaction. Just make sure your presentable and stand behind and a little to the left of Arthur."

"Right to the left."

"Yeah. Good Luck and I'll see you soon."

"Sure, sure" said Merlin not really listening. Merlin stood and walked in to the next room.

"I'm not sure I'm up for a date tonight, Merlin" Arthur said not turning to look at him.

"Good, we don't have time for one. Your dad's coming in an hour and he wants to meet me."

"Shit."

"That's what I said."


	8. meetings and feelings

**EternallyElle:** (oh, and defo no criticsm but for homosexuals the legal age of consent is 18. No idea why. Law is dumb. Anyway I think you get away with artistic licence)

**Kajos: I thought the same but I did actually research this issue because it's caught me out before. In 2000 without much publicity though the legal age was in fact changed to 16. Don't worry my teacher's get it wrong as well but it is 16 as part of a discrimination act of some sort. Yes, Blair got some thing right!**

"He knows! Oh God he's going to kill me. He's going to kill you. Oh shit sit shit."

"Arthur calm down there is no way your father could have found out that we're dating. It's been less than 24 hours and we have done everything in our rooms. Even your dad doesn't have eyes there."

"Your right he can't know!"

"Yes. Now your father is coming because he has a board meeting and wants to see me because you sent everyone else packing by this point." Arthur nodded and looked at the room.

"Right, yes we need to tidy up don't we." He said turning to look straights at Merlin. "Ahhhh! You need to change!"

"Probably." Arthur was panicking.

"Look you know hat sort of thing I should be wearing. Go up to my room and get me an outfit. I'll straighten up in here and ring and ask Gwen to bring up some tea since I don't have time."

"That will work!" Arthur cried racing out the room. Merlin shook his head and got to work.

Arthur didn't think as he ran head long in to Merlin's room. He pulled up just as quickly. Jasper was stood looking in Merlin's wardrobe. Arthur didn't know what to say at first. Then he realised that Jasper didn't know that Arthur knew about anything other than the night in his room.

""What are you doing here?" Jasper turned to him closing the wardrobe door.

"I might ask the same."

"I'm grabbing some cloths for Merlin to meet my father. He had no idea what to wear."

"How sweet. Meet the parents?"

"My father requested a meeting since Merlin's lasted so long."

"Fine."

"Why are you here?"

"Oh, I was hoping Merlin would help me with my chemistry home work."

"Right, I would suggest talking to MR Gaius. He's always in school till late."

"I'll do that he said not moving. Arthur ignored him grabbing a shirt and black trousers out the wardrobe and left leaving the door open behind him.

Merlin had pretty much finished on the room as Arthur walked back in.

"He's there again."

"Who?" said Merlin not looking up from shuffling papers in to a neat pile.

"Jasper. He's in your room again."

"I'll all with that later. First your dad then Jasper."

"Okay, here this should be okay. I'll lend you a belt. You can put the phone on it rather than shoving it in your pocket the way you normally do." Merlin nodded and took the clothes. He looked around and back at Arthur. "Oh, sorry, you can change in the bathroom."

"Thanks." Merlin said relieved. It was ten minutes until the deadline that the tea arrived.

"Thanks Gwen." Arthur said taking it from her to a look of surprise. At that moment Merlin stepped out the bathroom having changed and made an attempt at taming his hair. "Wow, you _really do_ clean up nice." Gwen was a bit confused.

"Uther's coming and wanted to meet me."

"Ah." Said Gwen in understanding.

They laid out the tea on a small table and set out two chairs for Arthur and Uther. Dave didn't sit as he was also there as a body guide and it wasn't appropriate for Merlin to sit.

Uther arrived bang on time and Merlin answered the door. He made o go at greeting Uther who simply swept past him in to the room to shake his son's hand. Dave on the over hand stopped and shook his hand.

"Hey, nice to finally meet you. I see you managed to sort yourself. Yeah, just about."

"Good lad. Well done." Uther and Arthur sat and Merlin poured tea for each of them then stepped back and tried to meld in to the background. They hovered on subjects for a while, how was business, how was school ect. Finally Uther looked up straight at Merlin.

"So, your Merlin. I've heard a lot. The fact that your still here certainly says it's fill."

"Thank you sir." Merlin said quietly nodding in respect.

"How is he Arthur?"

"Merlin? He's great. He does all the work quickly and properly. He certainly keeps me organised."

"Well, it seems I should be thanking you, Merlin. I found out a day or two ago that my son's grades have gone up a lot. He has been handing in homework on time and competing revision properly." Merlin was stunned and didn't know how to reply. "What is it you have done?"

"Well, I have started a timetable including homework and revision time and such because he didn't seem to be making time for it and he asked me to sort out his appointments and things." Uther nodded.

"Very sensible, Dave here works out my timetable for me. It makes life easier when you don't have to think about these thing for your self."

"Definitely." Said Arthur smiling. The meeting went well from there with Merlin fading back out of the conversation.

Finally Arthur shut the door on his father and counted to twenty, before turning to Merlin and grabbing him up in to a bear hug.

"I love you!"

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"For once my father was happy with me. He was proud and it's all thanks to you." He loosened the hug so he could kiss him. Merlin enjoyed the kiss letting it get deeper and deeper as Arthur's tongue brushed his teeth. He opened his mouth and gasped as the tongue plummeted in to his mouth searching and discovering everything. Merlin in turn started to search more gently through the expanse of teeth and gums. It seemed to go on for an eternity before they broke off.

They were both gasping and grinning and Arthur pulled Merlin over to the bed where they fell tangling with one another caressing, and kissing for hours. Finally Merlin sat up.

"I need to get to bed. Your breakfast doesn't happen on it's own."

"Some day I'll get you under these covers in stead of your own."

"We'll see." Merlin replied with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Merlin, if you don't want to that's fine. You don't have to make excuses or do it to keep me happy. I'm already over the moon. I can wait till your legal and ready."

"It's not that. This whole thing seems like a dream and any second I'll wake up and have to make breakfast for a bastard who I wish was gay."

"Was it really that bad?"

"It was horrible."

"I'm sorry. I promise you I'm not going to leave you. I need you. I think I might love you."

"Oh god. Please don't tell me that. I'm really trying here Arthur but I need time to trust you. To trust what you're saying to me. Please understand that."

"Okay, but you need to understand that I am committed to this. That's how I feel so I'm going to tell you. If you ever want me to stop just say and I'll trade servants and you won't have to see me again. Ever."


	9. dates and mates

**Kajos: I do apologise for the particular spelling and probably grammatical disaster of the last chapter. Unfortunately chapter 7 got a bit carried away with it self and I found my self having to write the Uther meeting in chapter 8 which I had never even considered writing. Back on the intended plot now with no hiccups so I should be able to pay more attention to such things if my computer will stop autocorrecting. As long as I didn't write Merlin at any point I consider it a success.**

Merlin returned to his room in the early hours tired and wanting just to sleep and stop thinking about him and Arthur. Jasper though had not left in his determination to reinstate his territorial claim like an animal.

"Where have you been?" He asked slamming him in to the door.

"Jasper I'm tired of this. Bugger off and leave me alone." _How dare he? Where was this newfound confidence coming from?_

"I will do no such thing. You are mine. My property and I demand to know where you have been."

"With Arthur." His nostrils flared in anger and rage. How dare that daddy's boy steal what was his? "Jasper, we, if it ever was a we, are over."

"I'll tell you when we're over. We will never be over till I say we are. You are mine until the day I bore of you and even after that." He slapped him to the ground and looked in horror as the boy got up.

"No Jasper, we are over now." He threw a punch that connected soundly with Jasper's nose breaking it. Blood poured in to his cupped hand as Jasper stared in shock at the previously meek toy of his. He left without another word and as the door shut behind him Merlin laughed hysterically. _God that felt good. _Then he crawled in to bed and went to sleep.

The next afternoon Merlin had rescheduled their date and was just as excited as Arthur about it.

"Where are we going?"

"Well I was going to blow it off but there's this picture house a few towns over run by a couple of queers and every Wednesday night they play a movie and everyone goes and then meet up at this club down the road. It's brilliant and I can introduce you to everyone."

"So it's like gay night?" Arthur looked a bit worried.

"No, not just gays, there are bi's and lesbians as well."

"Oh, that makes it so much better."

"Look it's fun, I wan to introduce you to some of my friends. I think you and Jake are going to get on well. He's bi like you. He worked it out just before me. He's great, really cute too but don't tell him I said that…"

"Merlin you're starting to sound like a girl."

"Sorry, I guess I'm a bit nervous about this."

"I promise I won't start checking out the lesbians and trying to turn them straight."

"Not about you. It's just everyone can get a bit flirty later on in the evening and I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I won't if your there to glare them away from your boyfriend." He pecked him on the lips and stood up to sort through his closet. "What does one wear to this sort of thing?" Merlin followed and looked through his 2 tonnes of clothes. Finally picked a pair of black jean and yesterdays red t-shirt. "Merlin, I'm not wearing those around guys they completely show off my package. I don't know why I even have them its embarrassing."

"They're tight. That's the point. Come on, for me? You'll look hot in them."

"This is just you trying to show off your new catch. What are you wearing?"

"You'll see." He said with a smile. They agreed to part for a while and meet up again by Merlin's bike at 6.

Arthur was speechless the skin tight black tank top left his arms bare and beautiful while the artfully ripped skin tight blue jeans left little to the imagination

"Merlin, did you have those in your wardrobe yesterday?"

"Yes."

"I can't believe I didn't notice them."

"I just wanted you to see before I put my leathers on. You have a leather jacket?"

"I get to see you in leather as well. I swear I'm not going to be watching this movie tonight Merlin. This whole thing is just going to overload my hot scale and I'll pass out."

"I'm glad you approve." Arthur quickly went and put on a leather jacket when he returned Merlin was wrapped up in his Bike safety leathers and a fluorescent vest and was holding out a vest and helmet to him.

"Do I seriously have to wear that?"

"Yes. I want you alive to enjoy tonight and it's not just a quick trip the movie doesn't start till half seven."

"How late are we going to be? I'm not supposed to leave site during the week you know."

"Don't worry I got you an exception."

"Oh, goody."

They arrived a little early and stored all their stuff in the bike walking in to the picture house in just the leather jackets. Merlin went to pay for the movie and got in line, everyone seemed to be dressed up and with someone, whether a date or a group of friends. Arthur suddenly felt very self-conscious. People seemed to be looking at them and murmuring.

"Sorry," said Merlin as he saw Arthur's discomfort, "You could say we're the big gossip since no ones ever seen you before and you're the first person I've ever really turned up with as such."

"No, it's fine." Arthur murmured, as it was there turn at the ticket box.

"Hey George." Merlin said to the bloke there.

"Hi Merlin who's your friend?" he said looking really interested.

"This is Arthur."

"Well nice to meet you. A friend of Merlin's is a friend of ours. Your always welcome here."

"Thanks." Said Arthur unsure how else to reply. Merlin paid for the tickets and they moved on. "I hope you took that out of my account." Arthur whispered in his ear.

"No, tonight's on me."

"Merlin you can't afford this."

"Arthur, I'm taking you on a date. I'm not having you pay." Arthur grumbled a bit but left it.

The movie went well. It was ballet shoes and everyone was shouting comments and shhhing and laughing and making fun of the movie. It didn't take Arthur long to get in the spirit of it.

When it was finally over everyone performed a mass exodus walking out the place and down the road as one in to a club that was empty and filled as they entered. The music was hammering with in five minutes of the end of the movies and drinks were coming from the bar. Merlin lead Arthur through the crowd to a table at the edge where two men who were probably 16 and 20. It was weird.

"Merlin! How's that grooming school treating you?"

"Fine Jake." Said Merlin taking a seat Arthur followed suit. "How are you two?"

"Great." Said the elder.

"So, you must be the infamous Arthur?" said Jake turning on him.

"Yeah."

"Merlin's told us so much about you. Unreciprocated lust is a bitch. Being bi makes life so much easier."

"Well…I'm not proud of that but then again I was straight until a month ago so…"

"I'm just joking with you. Merlin could turned a married Mormon gay I recon."

"Thank for that Jake." Said Merlin.

"So, drinks first or dance?" Jake addressed this question to the group.

"Dance came Merlin and his partners answer and Jake seemed to agree. Arthur didn't answer but let Merlin drag him out on to the already heaving dance floor. Arthur was tense and not comfortable dancing in these trousers in front of men. Merlin on the other hand seemed completely at ease even though his trousers were by far worse than his.

Suddenly people stopped dancing and turned to look at the door. Everyone fell silent and someone turned off the music.

"Your not welcome here Nimwueh."


	10. regrets and demands

Jasper. What the fuck was Jasper doing here? He stood by the bar; the voice had been the head bartenders. His nose was well bandaged and his voice very nasal Merlin wore a small grin of triumph at the site.

"I came to see an old friend." He started towards Merlin who backed up quickly. Glasses slammed down and a dozen people including Arthur, Jake and George came between the rapist and Merlin. "I don't even need him." He looked at Pendragon, who stood close by.

"You made a mistake going out with that shit. He'll break your hart and turn everyone against you. Save yourself the trouble. Let me have him."

"Never you bastard."

"Well I guess I'm going to have to take this higher up." Arthur didn't know what he meant but between all of them they threw him out of the place. Arthur returned to Merlin and despite the huddle of concerned friends he was allowed straight through. He pulled Merlin too him tucking him under his chin. Merlin snuggled close and let the tear run down his cheeks. After a few minutes Merlin pulled back.

"I think I need to go to the toilets."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I need some breathing space."

"Okay." As Merlin retreated in to the men's Arthur sat back down with Jake who had a drink with him now.

"I'll regret this the rest of my life." Jake said as he sat down.

"It's hardly your fault. Merlin chose to date him and he turned out to be a evil bastard."

"He hasn't told you how they met then?"

"Not in so many words."

"I introduced them." He was focusing on Eric his partner on the dance floor. "Jaspers cosine was good looking. _Really _good looking and she said she was only here with Jasper and she couldn't ditch him. He was hot so I introduced him and Merlin. They seemed to like each other. So Jasper's cousin, don't remember what her name was says she'd love to have a three-some with some bi's. We asked Eric, I didn't know him the whole thing was stupid but we disappeared off to his place. Mean while Merlin and Jasper went in to the back room and…" His eyes teared up.

"Yeah, I know the rest."

"The worst part is it turns out his cousin was crap in the sack but Eric was fantastic. We've been together ever since, not exclusively of course."

"Jake, you couldn't have known that would happen. If you screened everyone Merlin dated he'd be single the rest of his life."

"I left him, on his own with him."

"What here? Did you see what happened earlier? Half the people in this joint would kill a guy for flicking a peanut at Merlin. How could you be worried about him in here? Jasper used a date rape drug. It's not your fault."

"Thanks, I was sort of worried you'd kill me when you found out."

"Jake, we all do things we regret because we don't know any better. I handed him to Jasper on a plate because I didn't know I loved him or what had happened before, or what Jasper would do."

"True, but there was no way you could know that."

"Exactly, we're both guilty of being selfish jerks. We just have to live with that." Jake nodded and went to join Eric on the dance floor throwing himself in to it with all he had. Arthur sat a waited for Merlin to re-emerge. It took a while but he did.

"You have a great friend there." Arthur said to him.

"Yeah, he told you didn't he?"

"Yes."

"Are you angry?"

"No. Are they really seeing other people as well? I can't imagine dating a person and doing that."

"No, Jake likes to think they're not exclusive, he doesn't like that he's already tied down at 16. Eric doesn't complain he understands that it scares Jake but the fact is they haven't even kissed anyone else since that night. They love each other. I mean I suspect that if Jake wasn't so scared of commitment Eric would ask him if he would be engaged to him."

"That serious?"

"Jake's mother swears he pretty much lives with Eric these days. He gives him lifts to school and everything."

"How old is Eric?"

"19, he looks older I know. He left school at 16 and got an apprenticeship. He hasn't lived with his parents in that time."

"Same age difference then."

"It does work Arthur. Honestly you wouldn't blink an eye at a 22 year old with a 25 year old."

"I know but it's different during puberty three years makes a big difference in a persons physical maturity."

"I guess. But I wasn't a late bloomer. I may not need to shave much but I was old enough. My mum was really worried when I first started hanging out here and when I came home every night and assured her I was still a virgin she calmed down. After the whole Jasper thing she didn't want me anywhere near this place. I brought her along though and when everyone was so friendly and stuff she was happy again."

"You don't surprise me. These guys are nice, I mean they're really flirty on the dance floor but they're no different from girls in clubs. Just because you sit with you legs apart they're not going to jump you."

"Oh, I don't know. Some of them are pretty desperate."

Merlin didn't drink all evening and Arthur only had a pint so they came back later that night and quietly went to bed separately. Jasper wasn't waiting for Merlin, which was a relief. He wasn't up to facing him after such a pleasant night.

Nothing happened for a few weeks and two for them went back each week. During the week they kept the new relationship to there selves and stayed clothed, the whole time. When Arthur had tried to run a hand under Merlin's shirt he had shied away an asked for time. Arthur gave it to him until Merlin decided he wanted more.

"Arthur? How come you avoid me in school?" Arthur was surprised by the sudden question.

"My father knows everything that happens in school. He'll kill me if he finds out I'm dating a servant and a boy."

"So? Why should you care what your father thinks? It's your life."

"It's his wallet. He might actually cut m off or this."

"Oh no, you wouldn't be rich."

"Merlin, think about it. He cuts me off I won't go to this school anymore. That means you loose your job and your place at this school."

"I don't think your father would cut you off. You're his only son."

"I can never tell with him."

"Arthur, please. I hate this. I feel like your ashamed off me." Arthur didn't deny it straight off hesitating and Merlin looked hurt and left the room. Arthur's instinct was to follow him but what would he say that wouldn't make this worse. He needed to be in with the rich crowd, future business contacts and couldn't risk that by putting his needs first and telling them.


	11. performances and disappearances

Arthur spent a nervous night unable to sleep trying to rationalise his feelings for Merlin. Trying to answer Merlin's question. Why did he care so much? His father had never been proud of him no matter what he had done. Never praised him. Even recently it had been Merlin he thanked for his son's improvement.

Why did he care?

Why did it matter?

Why did it bother Merlin so much?

Why did it…

Why did it…

Why…

Why…

Why…………

Arthur's dreams were dark that night, full of his father's anger, his peer's disgust, Jasper's jealousy and Merlin's shame and fear and disappointment…

The next morning he and Merlin were not on speaking terms and Arthur just ate his breakfast and took his bath and tried not to look Merlin in the eye. He was quickly gone rather than spending time with him before school could start. He was still wearing jeans and a t-shirt to class and sticking out like a sore thumb, the toms only let him sit with them because they seemed to think he was cool. What planet were they from? Not that Arthur didn't think he was cool, he loved him but the idea of anyone thinking someone was cool because they were a complete both a servant and couldn't be bothered to dress smartly for lessons was ridiculous in the culture he had been raised in. Then again so was dating said boy.

Arthur swung from class to class distracted and unable to focus everything reminding him of the questions swirling through his head. He handed in homework and took notes almost robotically trying to work out what to say to Merlin. How could he make up for last night? Merlin had very clearly taken his hesitation to heart and he could see no simple options. If it were anything else he would ask for Merlin's help. He had on occasion asked for Merlin's presence at meetings with people from employers and universities simply so he could ask his opinion on them and what they said. Merlin picked up on so much that flew right past Arthur.

Suddenly the bell rang for lunch and Arthur shook himself awake. He packed his things away and moved to the dinning hall. Everyone ate lunch there and the same lunch even the scholarship students but this did not prevent social divide from occurring. There was a scholarship table. There were middle class tables, and there were of course the old boys tables, where those whose fathers before them had graffiti with there names on it. Arthur having collected his plate moved out among the table heading for such a seat. He passed directly behind Merlin who sat hunched over his plate head to one side looking towards Arthur's table or more accurately Jasper. Arthur paused. That had been the one pleasant image in his dream Jasper's face twisted green with envy. He was mouthing something at Arthur. He couldn't make out what it was but the sight made Arthur pause by Merlin. When Jasper finished he became aware that Merlin was shaking and had turned back to his plate.

He dropped his plate on the table.

"Merlin?" He said in the imperial voice he normal used to address Merlin during school hours rather than the softer voice he used in private.

"What do you want Pendragon?" Merlin responded in a way that caused a chuckle to pass around the table of toms.

"Merlin, look at me." Merlin shook his head dropped his fork and reluctantly turned to him.

"Arthur, I'm trying to eat just tell me what you want and I'll do it later." A round of 'here here's came from the table of people all fed up of being interrupted by people like him.

"Merlin, there is only one thing I want." He grabbed his face and pulled it to him kissing him gently on the lips. He was so surprised he forgot where he was and tried to deepen the kiss but Arthur pushed him back. "You." He sat down picked up his fork and shot a glance to Jasper who as hoped looked like he was enraged and constipated at the same time. There was no sound in the entire room. Shocked faces including Merlin looked on as Arthur started to eat. Murmurs began.

"He only did it for a dare."

"I swear I saw them making out in the corridor."

"He asked me out last year."

"He's having a laugh."

"Good for them."

"God wish I had the guts to d that sort of thing."

"I heard he had a three some once."

Arthur laughed out loud at some of the ideas flying around the room. He looked at Merlin who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome." He said smiling back. He had finally answered the question. Why did he care? He didn't. Merlin was more important. He loved Merlin. He couldn't imagine losing him. He needed him a lot more than he needed his father's praise. He's got this far without it after all. The two quietly ate lunch enjoy the wild imagining of there peers about them. The scholarship toms were all open and welcoming of the idea and behind Merlin carrying on with the relationship while over tables were more venomous in their opinions. By the end of the meal Arthur felt very comfortable at the lowest table in the room, sat next to the cutest guy in school. When they finished they stood and cleared their plates together. Merlin had a computer club to go to and Arthur was supposed to be doing Latin homework so in the door way still in sight of the dinning hall they stood pressed firmly together as Arthur cradled Merlin's face in his hands and Merlin grasped his hips and kissed him chastely but firmly on the lips before they parted.

Arthur bit his lip hard to keep from screaming at how good it had left as he walked towards the library hands in pockets barley resisting the urge to dance. They had gone so much further before in his room but some how doing it out in the open was a completely new and thrilling exploration of each other. He wanted to do it again, he wanted to do it every day until it became normal and he could kiss Merlin whenever he wanted to without anyone even noticing. Then it would be new again like their own little world inside this big open one and they could keep discovering new parts of their relationship and old ones and they could grow old together. He skipped through the last three lessons in a whirlwind of expectation and ran back to his room at the end of the day.

Merlin wasn't there disappointingly so Arthur paced for a while then sat down to do homework and then stood up and walked to the radio and turned it on and turned it off again and looked at the clock. School had finished half an hour ago. Where was Merlin? It was Wednesday, Arthur remembering this quickly changed in to some clothes he had bought since Wednesdays had become a regular engagement at the cinema and pulled on a leather jacket. Where was Merlin though? He should have come in to do the calendar and timetable and tidy up and collect washing and rubbish and check the bathroom supplies. But he hadn't. It was by now almost two hours since school finished and soon time for them to be leaving. Arthur worried picked up the phone and hit speed dial 1. The phone rang for long than usual before being answered.

"Hi, sorry I'm late. I'm just coming." Said a high unfamiliar voice on the other end of the line.

"Who are you and why are you answering Merlin's phone?"

"Oh, didn't you know? I'm replacing Merlin. I'll be there in a minute.


	12. injuries and recounts

**Kajos: I warn you it gets worse for a bit for Merlin and cliff-hangers but he will have a happy ever after eventually. I can promise that much. Thanks for all the reviews. I will keep writing if you keep reviewing and try to keep up to this speed. **

Merlin woke slowly to a deep-set ache in his bones and a decision to make to open his eyes or not. He could hear voices in the room but listening took so much effort.

"How come it's all ways my Merlin?" came the voice of his mother.

"Because he's beautiful, nice, smart and loyal to the end."

"That's should stop this."

"No, he's salvation and that's what the worst of sinners wants most."

"That's very poetic Jake." Merlin muttered. He heard his mother jump as he opened his eyes.

"Good to see your still with us Merlin." His mother grabbed him in to a hug until he cried out in pain and she quickly let go.

"What's happening? I hurt all over."

"You look like shit. They found you two days ago in Arthur's room looking half dead. The police think Arthur did this to you then stabbed himself."

"WHAT!" Merlin's eyes were wide and shocked.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Ummm…the house keeper asked me out of class, told me Arthur had decided he didn't want me working for him anymore and that I was being moved to someone else. She took me to a room through the servant door and that's it."

"So you don't remember Arthur or anything?"

"No just that. Two days! Wait, Arthur's been stabbed? Where is he?"

"He's just down the corridor but the police don't want him in here and his fathers people won't let us in." said Jake.

"It can't have been Arthur. He wouldn't do this."

"I know Merlin but right now everyone is just trying to work out what happened. All they know is you were found beaten to the point of death in Arthur's bed and Arthur was lying on the floor next to you stabbed by a knife with his finger prints on it."

"Is Arthur awake?"

"We really don't know." A policeman entered.

"What's actually wrong with me?" The policeman replied.

"You have three damaged ribs varying between broken and fractured, one of which actually punctured a lung, you were barley able to breath. Bruising covering the majority of your body, you have small cuts in various places around you. Your throat shows signs of throttling. Your head appears to have been bashed against something. It gets worse, you show signs of rape and it appears someone first used a knife on you down there. Your ankles are both broken. You should recover but if someone hadn't made a phone call from the room line to the emergency services you would have been dead in the morning." Merlin's eye teared up, the idea that Arthur could have done this to him. "Merlin, we need to know how this happened. I know you have a history of sexual abuse that was dropped in court but this will go through. No could get around what has been done to you."

"I don't remember. I was transferred to work for someone that wasn't Arthur apparently at his request, I was shown to his room but not told who it was and then I woke up here."

"Merlin, this is really important."

"I know, but I honestly don't remember."

"Merlin, you called us from Arthur's room." He pulled out a tape recorder from his pocket and played the tape in side. Merlin recognised his own voice.

"Oh, god I need help! Why did he do this? Please don't, Arthur, please."

"After that you drop the line and it hangs up. It looks like hen you dropped it pulled the connector that was damaged from the wall."

"That could mean anything. I don't remember."

"Merlin, this sounds like you rang for help. You sound terrified."

"I would be if Arthur had been hurt."

"Merlin, please hear us out." Said his mother.

"No, Arthur wouldn't do this. What does he say happened?"

"Nothing yet, he hasn't woken up."

Arthur woke up in the hospital and breathed a sigh of relief that he was waking up till he saw who was sat at his bedside, Dave and a policeman.

"Finally." Dave put down his paper.

"Is dad around?"

"No, he's busy so I'm babysitting at the death bed." He said jokingly.

"How long have I been out?"

"Two and a half days. You had surgery and a lot of pain killers."

"Wow, is Merlin okay?"

"Why would you want to know?" asked the police.

"He was in worse trouble than me. He…" He was about to say boyfriend but stopped looking at Dave.

"He what?" asked the man.

"He's my boyfriend. I want to see him."

"I'm afraid that isn't possible till we clear up how you two ended up here." Said the Policeman. "My name is Detective Tyler, could you tell me what happened the day of your injury?"

"What? From when? It was a normal day."

"From the end of school. We have questioned people at school we know about the events in the dinning hall. How long had you two been intermit?"

"We've been dating for almost a month. It's never gone anywhere though, we kiss, we cuddle and then Merlin leaves and goes to bed."

"How did you feel about that?"

"I was a little disappointed but Merlin needed time so I gave it to him."

"Fine, now that day…"

"I finished school and went back to my room and got changed, it was Wednesday. We normally went out on Wednesdays. Only after about two hours there was still no sign of Merlin so I tried to ring him on the phone he has for work. Someone else answered and told me Merlin had been moved to work for someone else. He told me that it had been a request by Merlin and that he was his replacement when he arrived. I went up to his room looking for him. He hadn't been there since the end of school. He always changes and leaves his wardrobe open with his clothes in a pile in front of it." Arthur stared at the wall so caught up in his recount he forgot who was listening. "I sat there a while crying trying to work out what I had done. He had seemed so happy after lunch and then he disappeared. He was still in school though I was sure. His helmet was still there and he never drives that bike of his without it.

"I went back to my room and the boy Roddy or something was gone so I paced and just moved about the room till I couldn't stand it and I left. I had been planning to go see Gwen and ask if she knew where Merlin was but as I was walking along the corridor I saw Merlin's bracelet outside Jasper's door."

"What made you think it was Merlin's?"

"Merlin always wore it. It was special. His councillor gave it to him after his rape. It was set up with a button so if he was ever in trouble like that again it would page me."

"Really?"

"Yes, he would never have willingly take it off."


	13. reunion and permissions

**Kajos: Don't be fooled it isn't finished but there isn't a cliff hanger either. It seemed pointless to continue just to put one in though. Enjoy and please review. It keeps me writing so I don't have breaks in updating like this one.**

Merlin was dismal, Arthur was just a few rooms away but no one would let him see him. Everyone thought he was stupid thinking Arthur was innocent except Jake. Jake had met the real Arthur; he knew Arthur wouldn't do this except he wouldn't trust his own judgement since Jasper. It was probably Jasper that did this but no one else seemed to have thought of that.

Arthur was just as down, he didn't want to think about what came next. He pushed himself up in to a sitting position and swung his legs off the bed.

"Where do you think your going?"

"I need to pee."

"You have a bed pan."

"I'm not using a bed pan when I am perfectly capable of walking." He stood and his legs buckled a little before his forced them to straighten and carry him towards the door. He passed the two bouncer like bodyguards his father had had posted there. They didn't try to stop him as he struggled in to the communal toilet not bothering to notice that his father had failed to have him move to a room with his own toilet.

The place was lit in that odd ultraviolet light that hospital toilets use and he felt a bit out of focus as he used the urinal determined that he did not need to sit down to pee.

Merlin pushed open the toilet door and froze at the sight of Arthur's beautiful round buttocks exposed by the hospital gown. He didn't say anything just stared until he realised Arthur was crying. Without thinking he walked up behind him wrapping his arms around him and leaning his chin on his shoulder.

"Shhh…"he said softly in his ear. "It's okay, I'm here." Arthur's head shot up and he turned pulling out of the embrace to see the younger boy.

"Merlin, oh god. Your okay, your alive!" Merlin looked a little puzzled.

"Yes, Arthur, I'm alive."

"Thank god your okay." He cupped his bruised cheek so very gently in his hand as though checking he was real.

"Arthur are you okay, they said you stabbed yourself?"

"No, never." He grabbed Merlin in a bear hug squeezing him as tight as possible causing pain to hoot from Merlin's damaged ribs so Arthur let go quickly. "I thought you were dead when I found you. There was so much blood."

"What did happen Arthur? I don't remember, the police think you did this."

"Do you think I did it Merlin?"

"No, never." He said echoing the others words. Arthur looked around and used a mop to jam the door shut then beckoned to Merlin. They sat on the floor and Arthur wrapped his arms round Merlin pulling him against him and kissing his forehead.

"I found your bracelet outside Jasper's door after you disappeared. I knocked on the door and he answered it opening it as little s possible. I was so angry and worried I slammed the door into him knocking him back on to the floor and charged in. Your clothes were there on the floor in these blood strips like they had been cut off you body. After that Jasper stood and told me to get out but I ignored him charging round the bed. There you were on the floor, there was so much blood from so many cuts, and so many bruises and bones that looked wrong. Your eyes were closed. I couldn't take it in I collapsed to my knees and Jasper came up behind me.

"'I told you he was mine. His life belongs to me and I can take it away if I want to. If I can't have the rest of him no one can but is life always was and always will be mine.' I lost it I punched him in the nose and re-broke it so he dropped cradling his face. From what he said I was sure you were dead. I picked you up and turned to leave. Jasper had got to his knees and punched me I the stomach I kicked him and walked out.

"I took you to my room and put you on the bed. There was a lot of your blood on me but once I'd tucked you in to the bed I looked down and saw the knife in my stomach were Jasper had punched me. I put a hand round it to pull it out and fainted." Arthur went quiet and Merlin didn't reply just curled up to him and they both fell asleep as the banging started on the door.

They woke up half an hour later as the door crashed in clutching tightly to each other. Dave, the two police officers, Jake and Merlin's Mother stood looking down at them.

"Arthur, get away from him." said Dave. The police concurred ordering the two to divide. Arthur made an attempt to do as told but the way Merlin was clutched to him stopped him and he pulled him closer.

"No."

"Arthur, your facing possible charges of assault, rape and attempted murder of him. Your not allowed near him."

"No, I didn't do any of that Jasper did it."

"It wasn't him." Said Merlin quietly. Arthur recounted the rest of what happened in a very cut down fashion.

"I'm afraid that doesn't explain the call."

"If I woke up after he passed out I could have made that call then."

"Arthur, what time was it that you entered Jaspers room?"

"About eleven."

"The whole sequence would have taken around fifth teen minutes. The call was at eleven twenty." Said one.

"We better pull in this Jasper for questioning and get a search warrant for his room. I want those clothes found and any blood spotted. Forensics did say the room didn't look like the crime scene." They looked down at the two.

"Arthur you're still a suspect but as long as you accompanied by someone of Merlin's choosing you are allowed to see him." Arthur looked at Dave.

"Your father better not hear a word of this." Arthur smiled know this was a yes to his silent request for permission to see Merlin.

The doctor moved them into adjacent beds but most of the tie they seemed to end up sleeping next to each other on the same bed.


	14. ideas and escapes

**Kajos: Hello! Sorry about last week. Exams unfortunately had to come first. Hopefully I should be updating quickly again now but if you want to hold me to that you'll need to keep reviewing. Thanks for your reviews so far. Hope you enjoy. Not much really happening in this one but it's building up. Merlin has to remember sometime doesn't he?**

It was a while before either of them was declared ready to leave the hospital but Arthur left first. He had only had the one wound and just needed to rest and not pull out the stitches, he was sent home to get bed rest. The hospital ward seemed empty after that. Merlin was kept for another few weeks. His multiple injuries were continually reopening and pulling and the doctors continued to tell him to stop moving all the time. Finally they let him leave and return to school, with a free pass from games that he loved and complete ban on anything more exerting than walking between lessons including typing or working.

Arthur wasn't there still though. He was still at home. Not the mansion in the country where he spent his summers but the large luxurious town house he father kept to stay in during the week hen he needed to be closer to his business. Arthur had refused to go to the mansion. Merlin tried to call but Dave had to refuse his requests to talk to Arthur. He tried emailing but his email he had been blocked.

Arthur moped about the house; his father insisted he stay home until he returned to his former self but at the same time kept him completely cut off from Merlin. He didn't even see Gwen on privately so he could pass a message. He hardly slept; he refused to eat most of the time and didn't engage with anything except to try and get Dave to let him speak to Merlin.

Merlin stood at the door he could here arguing inside but plucked up the courage to ring the doorbell. Those inside went silent and a shape appeared at the door. It opened to Dave.

"Merlin, I can't let you in." Merlin saw Arthur who was in the middle of turning to head up the stairs behind Dave stop.

"Can see him from here then?"

"Afraid not. The boss has said you not to have any contact with him." Dave obviously though Arthur had gone. He had in fact turned and was staring at Merlin round the mass that was Dave. Merlin was looking at him back his eyes filled with the pain of separation. He had bags under his eyes and had obviously had about as much sleep as Arthur.

"Please Dave, it could be like at the hospital. He never has to know."

"Merlin, don't do this to me. He'll have my job."

"Dave, please." Said Arthur from behind him.

"Shit your still there." He said like e had just been caught doing impressions by a straight-backed teacher with a large nose and happened to be a very good impressionist. "I would if I could Arthur you know that. I have tried to fight your side with your father more times than is healthy for my career."

"I know Dave. Dave, where do you think my father would stand on me running away? Disappearing?"

"He'd blow his top."

"But how would it reflect on you?"

"Badly. Very badly."

"Even if I slipped out the bedroom window say later tonight."

"Arthur, don't you even think about it!"

"Come on Dave, everyone's happy. You get off babysitting duty. I can hide out for a bit and see Merlin. Dad can't blame you and I turn up again in time for the trial."

"Arthur, your not aloud to be with Merlin unchaperoned and you have to sign in at the station once a week."

"He can stay at my house. It's holidays in a week anyway and I'll be at home. Mum won't mind. He can still sign in and my mum will be around the whole time."

"I can't believe I'm actually considering this." Dave said covering his face with one hand. "Fine, fine but you two are completely to blame in all this and I knew nothing. Despite that thank you for discussing it with me. I would have been sick with worry other wise." Merlin and Arthur grinned and Dave had to grin too. He hadn't seen Arthur smile in quiet a while.

Climbing out the window was easy; he had done it a hundred times in the past. The only reason he hadn't before now was that he ha nowhere to go. At the end of the street Merlin was waiting with his bike.

"Merlin, you should not be riding that thing. You'll tear open your wounds."

"Arthur, shut up and get on the bike." Arthur paused.

"First I need to do one thing." He pulled Merlin's helmet off him and pressed his lips against Merlin's. They kissed almost franticly for a minute then Merlin broke off and put his helmet back on. Sat riding pillion Arthur sat as close to Merlin as was possible his arms around his waist and his head rested on his shoulder.

Merlin's house was a tiny terrace affair. He unlocked the door and walked in the lounge at the front was dark but there was a light on in the kitchen.

"Hello." Merlin called. A short woman with a kind face pocked her head out.

"Merlin." She came and gave him a hug. Arthur felt a tug on his heart. He had never had a mother or anyone who would have welcomed him like that on coming home. "You must be Arthur." She said letting go of Merlin and sizing him up. "Turn on the light Merlin so I can see him.

"Oh, sorry mum." He squeezed around Arthur and flicked a switch near the door. The whole place was cramped. Merlin's mother looked him up and down.

"Well I can see why my Merlin's so taken with you."

"Mum!" said Merlin.

"Oh, don't fuss boy. He's a handsome lad and there's no mistake. You already know he's welcome to stay. Merlin said your father was none to happy with my Merlin."

"No, it' not Merlin. He just doesn't understand…"

"I know. Jake's father didn't like it when he went queer either. He left them after his mum refused to stop the lad."

"Hmm…it makes things harder when he can put you under 24 hour guards an screen your calls."

"I've always said it's not money that makes the man it's the man who makes the money and that man is going to be as solid as gold and at times as heartless."

"There's something deeply philosophical about that." Said Arthur unsure what it was exactly.

"There is to most things if you think about them enough." She turned and walked back to the kitchen. "Welcome on, I've got dinner on the stove." _This is certainly going to be different._

Jasper looked at the blank walls of the questioning room and he lawyer next to him. Well, he'd been here before. It wouldn't go much further than this though. It had been different though being picked up in handcuffs by a squad car.

**Kajos: Sorry about Merlin's mum accent that just sort of happened.**


	15. build up and disappointment

Arthur was quiet as the three sat at the small table actually able to talk with each other. Merlin and his mother chatted about the people who lived in the street with them. Occasionally his mother would tell him to sit up straight.

"So, Arthur, what are you going to do about school?"

"School?"

"Well, Merlin said you were being tutored but if you're here that won't carry on."

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it."

"What were you taking?"

"Latin, business studies and physics."

"I can teach you Latin and physics f you like."

"Mum used to teach but these days she works at the community college down the road."

"Oh! That would be great! I'm sure Merlin could grab my text books some time."

"Sure." It was weird; they actually talked and smiled. "I need to get going soon. If you're done I'll show you up stairs. You're staying in my room." Arthur put down his cutlery down and followed him up to the small bedroom. Arthur couldn't imagine growing up in this room. There was a desk, a bed, a wardrobe and a bedside table piled up with books. There was no room for anything else. "Sorry, I know it's small. You can borrow my clothes for a bit. I'll try to get some of your other here tomorrow."

"Thanks for this Merlin."

"It's fine. This way I can see you every evening. Oh and don't forget tomorrows Wednesday." Arthur snaked an arm around his waist and pulled.

"Well then you make sure you get me some appropriate clothes." He kissed him.

"I will." He said with an evil smile.

"Some times I really wonder what goes on in your head."

"Oh, I was just thinking I might forget and you'd have to go in some of mine."

"Merlin, your club clothes are all too small for me."

"Exactly."

"You little pervert!" Merlin laughed then they kissed for a long moment before Merlin broke off and left. Arthur sat on the lay on the bed and realised it smelt like Merlin with in minutes he was curled up and fast asleep. A little later on passing Merlin's mother noticed him and turned off the light.

Merlin slept better that night too and the next day snuck into Arthur's room to retrieve his things. He grabbed his laundry as well and packed it in to a duffle bag. As soon as school finished he left and went home.

"Hey Merlin." Said Arthur. Mum and he were sat on the sofa watching the discovery channel as Mum often id. Arthur seemed really interested. "Merlin, did you know about these guys. There called the myth busters they look in to stuff like Robin Hood splitting arrows and things. It's really cool."

"Yeah Arthur, mums always watching them. I brought you some stuff."

"Yay!" Arthur had taken on a much newer brighter look. He pulled Merlin up stairs. Merlin dumped the bag as Arthur pushed him against the wall. Their arms entwined as their mouths devoured each other. "You want to skip the movies?"

"Sounds good. Arthur?" He pulled back.

"What?"

"It was my birthday last week." Arthur smiled.

"If you'd said I'd have got you something." Merlin shook his head.

"Arthur, you don't get it. I'm 16."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, if we…it would be legal."

"Uh huh."

"Are you ready?"

"I don't know." Merlin sat on the bed. "After last time, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready."

"Merlin, I can wait. If it's years before your healed that's fine, if you never ready, hey there's always oral."

"Thanks Arthur." Arthur began to smile again.

"Merlin, say we were to, do you have well… do you have any lube?"

"Arthur!"

"Merlin, please go with me on this."

"Yeah, Jake bought me some last Christmas." He reached over and got it out the draw."

"Merlin, I realise you may be injured, but I'm not. You don't have to be on the bottom." Merlin took a moment to workout what Arthur meant before he swallowed.

"Okay" Arthur pulled him on top of him as he rolled back on the bed. Arthur's hands crept down to his waistband pulling his shirt out slowly.

"Sure?" Arthur said as his hand slipped beneath the cloth.

"Yes." Arthur whipped the shirt of over his head.

"Much better." Arthur leaned up kissing Merlin's chest. The younger boy gasped at the sensation. Arthur smiled against his skin and Merlin undid the buttons of Arthur's shirt exposing his collarbone to his kisses. Arthur tipped his head back and closed his eyes drinking in the sensation. He arched his back to help Merlin get the shirt off. He opened his eyes and lifted a hand to where he could feel Merlin hard against him; pushing gently h extracted a deep moan.

"Fucking hell Arthur." The other man murmured hips pushing against his hand. Arthur smiled and Merlin quickly stripped off his trousers and then Arthur's holding him self up on his thin wiry arms. Arthur shifted beneath him so they were pushed together and started to rub. Merlin was panting now. Arthur moved faster.

"Arthur slow down, I won't last." Arthur paid no attention smiling wider. "Really I'm not shitting you, I've never been here before. I'm going to go." Arthur stopped.

"What do you mean, you 'haven't been here before'?"

"I never actually got this with Jasper."

"So you've never had a…" Merlin shook his head. "You'll enjoy this." Arthur started to move again slower this time. The two groaned and gasped together building the feelings gradually. Merlin was getting close again when suddenly the door opened.

"Damn mum!" Merlin shouted grabbing the sheet that had fallen off the bed and pulling it over both of them.

"Sorry Merlin, but the police are here looking for Arthur." There were two police behind her in the doorway both unsurprised.

"We're here after Mr Arthur Pendragon was reported to have been taken from his home."

"Actually, I'm 18 and I chose to leave."

"I'm afraid we are still requires to take you both to the station. Mr Emrys for kidnapping and you for breaking the conditions set on you as a suspect."

"This is stupid!" said Merlin. "Arthur came willingly."

"Not yet he didn't." murmured one of them.

"And he had nothing to do with my assault over than saving me."

"I'm afraid that's not how it works. We found nothing in Jasper's room. It's now their words against each other."

"What about Jaspers history?" asked Arthur disgusted.

"He was cleared of all charges. They can't be used against him." Arthur reached down and grabbed their boxers off the floor and passed Merlin his.

"We're coming but I'm not going back to my fathers. If I can't stay here I'll go back to school."


	16. nightmares and restrictions

The station was scary; the cell they were put in was full of other people. They were creep. Arthur stood close to Merlin as they walked in.

"Don't worry, stay close an you'll be fine." The younger said. _And so will I._

They sat beside each other touching down the length of their bodies and just pretended none of the others there existed. Until Arthur was called out by one of the Officers, as they walked through the station it seemed busy like something more important was going on but passing right by the officer handling their case. Arthur entered the TV interview room, it was plain, two way mirror obvious.

"Sit down." Arthur did as instructed. "Are you aware that earlier you were founding direct contradiction to the court ruling that you were not to see Merlin Emrys with out the presence of a person who is acceptable to the afore mentioned."

"Yes but we were hardly going to do that downstairs in front of his mum."

"For the last 24 hours you have been at Merlin's official place of residence."

"Yes."

"Your father though has reported you missing."

"Apparently so, even though at the age of 18 I am perfectly capable of making the decision to leave and I left him a note saying I was leaving and not planning to come back anytime soon"

"You left a note saying where you were going."

"No but I did leave a note."

"In that case those charges against Merlin can be dropped." He stood and walked to the door telling his college to release Merlin from the cells. The man replied. "Is it just me or does Merlin attract trouble."

"What happened?"

"A fight has started in the cells over him after some one through a punch and someone else wanted to punch him first." Arthur's face just dropped into his hands.

"Is he alright?"

"He's fine the other two need a doctor though and possibly stitches. Arthur, lets be open here. You're not in the best position. We searched the other boy's room and the corridor. Nothing. All the evidence is against you including Merlin's phone call and the other boys alibi."

"I know but I told you the truth and eventually Merlin's going to remember and I will be proved right. If I change my story Jasper will rip it to pieces and I'll go down."

Merlin was sat on a plastic seat on his own when Mr Gaius walked in.

"Merlin? What are you doing here?"

"Waiting to see Arthur when he leaves. Why are you here?"

"Collecting Arthur, the school don't want him living on site for a while. He can't stay with you thanks to the courts and he won't go home some he'll be staying at mine for a while."

Mr Gaius and Merlin waited for a while as the officer continued to question Arthur eventually he emerged this the officer.

"Right, Merlin I'm afraid that you can't see him with out a police officer present." Merlin's jaw dropped and hurt entered his eyes while Arthur wouldn't look at him.

"Merlin, Jasper was clean as a whistle, the only chance of me being cleared is if you remember and can testify what really happened."

"I'm wish I knew Arthur, I really wish I did." Merlin stepped forward an they both embraced and nothing more needed to be said.

"Arthur, we need to get going." Gaius tentatively put in. The two separated.

"Arthur has to come in on Friday to sign in, you can come in and see him then if you want." The officer said to Merlin, "That is as long as you stay away from our cells. How do you do it?"

"I don't know I was trying to keep my head down and one of them asked me if I was queer and I said I was and he seemed to think I was coming on to him and someone else was offended just by me being queer and they started a fight." Arthur laughed and ruffled his hair.

"This is why you need me around all the time. You just can't help but say the wrong thing." Merlin shrugged and watched as Arthur and Gaius left.

"I'll give you a lift to your school if you like." Said the officer.

"Actually home would be better. I need to get my bike."

Merlin slept badly that night. He couldn't clear his head and ever time he slipped in to dreams…

_Arthur stood in chains glaring at him._

_"This is all your fault you stupid in competent servant. Can't even remember being tortured! You wanted this to happen! Didn't you? So you could be with him!" Merlin felt arms wind about his waist, a head on his shoulder and a soft voice in his ear._

_"Of course he did Arthur. He's mine, he always has been. Haven't you? Slaves are far you loyal than servants I've found."_

_"Yes master" he said unable to stop himself. Arthur spasmed in hurt and hate._

_"Well done little one. I'll reward you later." He said his hand brushing lightly over the front of Merlin's trousers so he shivered._

_"Some day he'll remember you bastard!" Arthur cried all hate gone from his eye replaced by sadness and worry but Jasper just put an arm around Merlin's shoulders an steered him away from him._

…and then he woke up.

"I won't do it. I won't be that. I'll remember! I will remember!" He called crying in to the night before huddling on his bed and trying not to sleep. HE wished so much that Arthur would just slip in to the room with that smile of his on his face and stroke his hair before pulling him close and holding him like he had done so often before. He would kiss him on the head and hold him till he fell asleep and there would be no bad dreams and he would wake to Arthur warm body wrapped around his and his sleepy breath on the back of Merlin's neck. Only Arthur wasn't here and never would be again unless he remembered.


	17. pain and profiling

Arthur was restless walking round and round the chemistry teachers flat.

"For the sake of our lord Jesus Christ, Arthur go to sleep." Arthur just carried on pacing, "Look Merlin isn't going to remember because you kill your self by not eating or sleeping. Rest, eat and go to school tomorrow. You may not be able to speak with Arthur but you can see him and he can see you and know that you're okay. How much worse do you think Merlin is going to be when he sees you in this state?"

"I know, don't you think I know that but I just can't. I can't switch off, I just keep thinking that hes stuck there with Jasper just a few floors below and no one to help him."

"Merlin is fine Arthur. Jasper won't try a thing with the police on to him like they are."

"We thought that after the autumn but he still hurt him."

"Arthur there is nothing you can do except look after yourself." Arthur nodded and went in to the small box room that had been cleared out for his use. Gaius was finally able to turn of the light and head to his own bed, he still worried about the two boys. They were too close to manage this.

The next morning Merlin woke up early as he always did, with nothing to do, no extra work, no homework undone. He just lay there trying to forget the night before. Trying to forget his dreams and nightmares. He pulled on his clothes but they felt wrong, his mind flashed _pain searing down his back, hot liquid and a coppery tang in the air. He was face down on a dark carpet, blue, royal blue._ He paused for a second. That hadn't been a dream. That had been real. That had been memory. He reached for the phone about to call the police and Arthur but then h3e realised, he had nothing. Blue carpet and pain. That was nothing. He needed more; he needed to think of something.

All through school he touched and smelt and listened trying to find anything that might trigger his memory. Something that might bring it back. But he was hesitant he didn't want the pain. He didn't really want to remember, but for Arthur, he would.

He kept looking, kept searching for a trigger. There didn't seemed to be anything until Lunch and he tripped on the stair knocking his knee on the step above. The sharp crack of pain was familiar. _He was falling to that blue carpet again, a sound this time laughter, his eye felt swollen this time. Someone sat on him._ He was half lying half sitting on the stairs at school. Damn it, how come he never remembered enough, he never saw the face. He needed more. The carpet had been the first one, the pain the second, maybe he needed to see the face to remember it, or hear the voice.

Merlin tripped and Arthur had to carry on, to walk past. Tears welled up in his eyes and forced him to ducked in to the toilets. He wiped his eyes and tried to compose himself hoping the whole time that no one would walk in. He got lucky, no one did. When he left Merlin was gone, he had got up and walked off, he was fine. Why was he so worried? Merlin wasn't made out of glass.

Merlin sat in the room and looked down at the knife in his hand. It was his pocketknife. He used it just for general stuff. Might it help, would this help him remember? Or was this just his depression talking. Him being sad and needed to do something to make him feel less useless. He had to decide. _To self-harm or not to self harm that is the question?_

Arthur was worried; Merlin wasn't in the hall for lunch. It was Merlin; he wasn't one to skip meals. He shook it off, Merlin was fine, the only thing he could do was deal with him. Anything else was pointless. Get over it was probably the best idea. Just for now that way, leaving him would be easy if it came to that. How could he though? Forget Merlin? His smile, his obsession with wearing all that safety gear on his bike. He bravery facing Jasper that time. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't.

He left school but instead of going back to Gaius' place he walked, he needed to walk. He just kept walking, trying to stop thinking trying to be like Merlin, to forget. He found himself at the bus station. He looked down the lists of locations and spotted the village near the doc. Spur of the moment he bought a ticket and went.

The place hadn't changed but the doc was really surprised to see him.

"Arthur? I'm not sure I should be talking to you about Merlin."

"Please doc, it's more me than him."

"Fine, I'll squeeze you in. Come on." They went through to the office. "What do you want?"

"Your heard about Merlin, that night?"

"Yes, his attack. The police think you did it. Your saying Jasper was the culprit and to all of us that makes sense until you take Merlin's phone call he can't remember making, the vast amounts of blood in your room and the knife that did all the damage to both of you being in your room in you in a stab wound that occurred after all of Merlin's wounds and the knife is covered in your finger prints. Not to mention Jasper has an Alibi and there was nothing in either his rooms or the corridor that would be had the crime been committed there. So either he's really good, impossibly good or you're lying and tried to kill Merlin. In which case everything you say while you here would be construed as a way of covering your self. Currently unless Merlin can bear witness your going down."

"That about sums it up. If you think it was me why did you agree to talk?"

"I don't this is classic Jasper behaviour. He's been planning this. He wanted you out of the way, himself completely clear on everything and everyone to see him as the victim. We both no he has the resources to cover this up, given time which he had in ample amounts while you and Merlin lay unconscious unable to say what had happened and the police had to work with what they saw. You on the other hand have no motive for this Merlin was a good friend."

"Me and Merlin were dating. I had sort of revealed it to the whole school earlier that day."

"I thought as much. Where you sleeping with each other?"

"No, I had made a couple of advances in that fashion but Merlin said he wasn't ready and I stopped deciding to wait till he was legal and had got sometime and distance from the whole thing an time to heal a bit more. Down there."

"Sensible and also a possible cover up. Arthur, before you and Merlin started to date how often where you pulling girls?" Arthur looked shocked at the question. "Arthur you're a rich good looking 18 year old boy. It's quite obvious you would have been involved with girls."

"I guess most weekends."

"So you went from weekly sex to none fore the last two months?"

"So? Yeah, I've been a bit sexually frustrated in the relationship. That doesn't mean I'd go rape Merlin. If I were that desperate I'd go out on the town and pull and not tell Merlin. I admit as much, if I was desperate I might cheat on Merlin. I wouldn't do that though."

"Exactly, what happened to Merlin were the actions of an obsessive, someone who needs control, who hadn't been in charge of the relationship and needed to be. Someone who enjoys pain and who wanted Merlin to hurt and to possibly dies but couldn't kill him out right himself. You could be described as obsessive about Merlin but not to that extent. You like to have control in a relationship but again you can give it away in the case of someone you trust like Merlin. Arthur, your psych evaluation does not finger you as the perpetrator, it fingers Jasper. This fits his profile perfectly. I've told the police as much and though they're taking it in to consideration they're police. They live and breath evidence and right now your best hope is the testimony of Merlin."

"I really wish people would stop telling me that."


	18. drunk and then sobber

The police station door opened and a tall pale youth walked in and approached the desk. He looked tired ad under fed. The desk sergeant looked at him.

"Anything in particular?"

"I need to speak with Detective Tyler."

"What's your name?"

"Merlin Emrys." He waited a few moments for the detective to emerge.

"Merlin. How can I help you? Arthur's not in till Friday and I would have told you if anything new came up."

"Actually, I have something to tell you."

"Really, has something else happened? Arthur or Jasper related."

"No, but I remember."

"Excellent." Merlin nodded then bent over and was sick.

Arthur was drinking. He hadn't had a drop since the accident, but it was Wednesday. Jake had rung up and asked him if he was coming anyway but Arthur had turned him down. It just seemed wrong. He had told Gaius he was going though. He found himself sat in the pub with the cheapest pint in the place trying to drink himself blind. He had fake ID of course but really he wanted to be left alone, this place was one of those old men pubs, they didn't like him there but they weren't going to bother him. His phone rang.

"Arthur? Where are you? The police need to see you."

"Gaius, they can go fuck themselves." His words slurred in drunken laziness.

"Arthur, you're drunk!"

"Yep, I'm giving up, might as well get pissed one last time."

"Arthur listen to me the police want to see you about the case tonight."

"I don't care what they want. Gaius, it's not like I'm going to be cleared."

"That's exactly what it might be about! Thy said they had some new information!"

"Information, infoshation." Arthur hung up and walked out the pub."

Gaius slammed down the phone, Arthur had disappeared, and he was not with Jake. He needed to hear this. He got the feeling the new information might have come from Merlin.

Merlin sat wrapped in a blanket and shivered. Tears leaked from his eyes. He had said nothing more but Tyler had called in doc and Gaius hoping Arthur would be able to come. What Merlin would hopefully say tonight would either clear or convict the boy. The only problem was that after staggering in, Merlin was in a complete state, it seemed just thinking about it was traumatising him further. He didn't want to push him. His only option was to wait for the boy's doctor and hope he knew what to do.

The doc was heading out to his car. He'd stopped at the inn for dinner when the call came. He would go straight there. As he left the restaurant section he saw someone stood by his car.

"Hey!" He ran over and jerked them away. His shoes were splattered. "Arthur?"

"Doc! Hi, did you know that Gaius thinks I'm with Jake." He giggled.

"Arthur, you are well and truly drunk."

"No. I'm not!"

"We need to sober you up. The police said they had rung you."

"The police?" He blew a raspberry. "I'm not talking to them any longer."

"Lets just get you there and see what they think." He opened the door and pushed Arthur in to the back of the car. "Now behave yourself."

Tyler paced in the waiting room. Where were they? He had said it was an emergency.

Finally the door swung open and both the people he had been waiting for walked in.

"I hope you have some really strong coffee." Said the doc.

"What happened to him?" Tyler asked pointing at Arthur leaning on doc eyes unfocused.

"Drunk. Very very drunk."

"No? really?" he asked sarcastically. He turned and went to the desk. "Drop him in a seat. Can you get the kid some of the morgues coffee?" He asked the desk sergeant. Doc I need you to come with me now. I don't know how to deal with him and I don't want to risk making it worse."

"That's fine I doubt Arthur's going to be very aware in the next hour or so."

Merlin hadn't changed in the mean time. Doc walked over and knelt by him.

"Merlin?" He clicked in front of his face and got nothing. "Merlin." He forcibly turned the boys face to look at him.

"D…d…doc?"

"Yeah, Merlin. Tyler called me, he said you had something to tell him but were struggling."

"I don't want to remember anymore."

"Yes, well that's not really something you get to choose now is it?"

"It hurt doc. It really hurt."

"What hurt Merlin?"

"Remembering." He held out an arm. The doc looked at the boy who was just starring at the arm. Carefully he pushed the sleeve back. Tyler looked over his shoulder. There were a series of regular scars on the arm running across like a ladder.

"Those look recent." The detective observed.

"He didn't get these in the attack. Merlin, how did these wounds happen?"

"It helped. I had to remember and the pain reminded me."

"You did these?"

"Yes."

"What did you remember?"

"No! No! No! I won't! Not again, no." Merlin pulled away falling from the chair he moved in to the corner.

"Merlin, please. We need you to talk to us." The sobs were loud and ragged.

"I can't." Doc moved and sat next to him. Merlin leaned over to put his face on his shoulder and doc hugged him.

"What is the chance of hearing the story tonight?"

"High if you can get Arthur sober and in here."

"Right, I'll talk to forensics."

"Forensics work on call."

"Ah!"

Arthur sat in the bare room as coffee and lord new what else was poured in to him. He gagged.

"Everyone back up!" Tyler called. The large group jumped back to the wall as the teenager heaved and set a rather impressive record for propelling ones stomach content. "Right, how many fingers?" He waved a hand under his eyes.

"Five. Gah! Anyone got some mouth wash?"

"No we just poured it all in to you."

"Any particular reason for this?"

"Yes, Merlin remembered."


	19. tale and explanation

**Kajos: Really sorry for the slow up dating but three more chapters including this one and I'm done. End is has been written and IT IS HAPPY! Anyway, no more suspense now, to the story!**

Arthur swung in to the room in front of Tyler.

"Merlin?" The huddled creature looked up and was still for a moment. Arthur looked at the detective. "Can I go to him?"

"Yes. I'll need you to back off later though." Arthur was across the room in two steps pulling Merlin in to his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" the boy mumbled against his shirt.

"Merlin. Shut up for a minute and calm down." He id just that taking a few deep breathes. "Merlin, you came here to talk to the detective. You need to talk to him. I can't be here while that happens."

"No! I need you here." Arthur looked round at the detective.

"Look, Arthur can sit in the corner behind you. I can't let you to talk or even look at each other though. Arthur could influence what you say other wise."

"Is that okay?" Arthur asked.

"You'd still be in the room?"

"Yes." Merlin nodded. "Right, sit at the table and talk to the detective. I'll just be here." Merlin nodded and went to the table while Arthur made himself comfortable in the corner.

"You want a chair?" Arthur shook his head at the offer. "Okay, Merlin. What was your reason for coming here?"

"You told me if I remembered anything I needed to come tell you. I have and you need to know."

"Right and just for the record when did you remember this?"

"I first started the other day pulling my clothes on and then banging my knee, after that…I cut myself because the pain helped to remember."

"But you are certain these are memories?"

"Yes, the cuts weren't bad at all, they just helped."

"So what have you remembered, details please."

"Well before the last thing I remembered was entering the room. It was large room a lot like Arthur's but the bed was sort of turned round an the carpet was royal blue. There was no one there at first so I sort f stood there not sure what to do until something hit the back of my ankles. I yelled and fell down. They kicked me in the chest again and again until I rolled over. Jasper was stood there. He stepped over me then sat on my stomach, I was just gasping and he grabs my neck pulling a knife out his back pocket. He let my throat go and started to cut m clothes off me. Slowly, while I gasped and tried the shove him away. I didn't want to move my feet it felt like they were about to fall off. It took forever as he pulled strips of clothe off me. He was smiling the whole time while I was bleeding and choking. When he finished he stood up and suddenly I could breathe better and I panted. Then he grabs me and throws e in to the side of the bed my head slams in to the leg and he kicked my head against it again and again. He's snarling at me 'you whore, you slut' on and on. He stops and kicks me on to my back. I heard him unzip but I really didn't care anymore till he was on me, shoving his way in with nothing first. It hurt, more than ever it hurt that time. He was wild just going and going then he finally pulled away and I could feel the blood and seed on me. He leant forward and whispered to me 'don't worry I'll make sure your big enough for your precious Arthur' and then I felt it the knife slicing through. There was a knock on the door and he pulled out and left. I passed out." Merlin stopped tears streaming down his face, the detective said nothing for a minute or so.

"That's all you remember?" Merlin shook his head.

"I remember waking up and being to tired to open my eyes but feeling arms around me through the pain and soft lips on my forehead. Then the next time I woke up I just had to look around me. I was on Arthur's bed. I looked around an Arthur was on the ground with Jasper's knife in his hand. He was bleeding. I picked up the phone and dialled but Arthur was getting paler and paler. I though he was dieing."

"I'm fine." Said Arthur from the corner and Merlin just smiled a little and nodded through his tears.

"Thank you Merlin. You two wait here. Arthur since your stories collaborate and I believe them, don't worry about being alone. I'm going to see if I can get an arrest warrant and look in to how Jasper's covered himself."

"Thank you detective." Arthur said picking himself off the floor. His cheeks glistened with tears as he once again pulled Merlin to him and they sat curled up together.

Later they saw Jasper going past the window, everything was happening. With a bit of investigation and a warrant it seemed Jasper had replaced his carpet and got the corridor professionally cleaned. He had bought the knife the week before in a pawnshop. Most of all he wasn't getting bail. Gaius and Mrs Emrys had been called an come in but no one had disturbed them. They hadn't said anything just sat there. At about 4 am when they finally entered the two had fallen asleep.


	20. leisure and learning

They were woken the next morning and went to school. Kissing as they parted for their separate lessons and gripping hands like lifesavers in break and lunch. At the ed of the day Arthur was waiting for Merlin outside his lesson.

"Hey, I was just going to head off and get changed before I came round to Gaius'."

"I'm back here now." Arthur said weaving his fingers in to his. "Come on. I can't wait." Merlin gave him an odd look as the older boy dragged him up stairs to his room. It hadn't changed. As the door shut Arthur pushed him against it devouring his lips. Merlin melted against him straight away and his cock reacted violently. They gasped and panted sharing air as shirts road up backs, hands scorching bare skin.

"Arthur," The older boy shook his head moving to his neck. "Arthur"

"Don't Merlin."

"Arthur, I can't. I don't want to let you hurt me an you will." Arthur pulled back.

"Merlin, I would never hurt you." He returned to his neck undoing shirt buttons so he could reach and collar bone where he bit and sucked. Merlin shivered in hi arms.

"Arthur right now no matter how careful you are this is going to hurt."

"I'm not the one who needs to be careful. You are. I got some lube but go easy. It's my first time." Merlin looked shocked as he realised what he meant. He had never though of it before. He had always assumed if they ever did then Arthur would want to be in charge and on top. He swallowed as Arthur moved away and walked towards the bed undoing his shirt and pulling it out his trousers. He opened the draw by his bed and pulled out a tube of lube and a condom. "I no you don't have anything and I can't get pregnant but I though you'd want to choose." Merlin smiled at that as he realised for all his confidence Arthur was as nervous as he. Merlin followed him and saw Arthur's shoulders drop in relief. Merlin tucked the condom back in the draw.

"Come here." He said to Arthur who did so. He pushed Arthur's hands down to his sides and finished undoing the shirt pushing it gently off his shoulders as he ran his hand over the broad shoulders and chest. The shirt dropped to the floor as Arthur moved forward to capture Merlin's lips and he dogged out the way. Arthur moved back unsure what Merlin was up to. He reached down and tugged on the belt slowly pulling it out. Arthur groaned softly. Merlin took his time his finger flittering as he undid the plain trousers. Slowly the clothes pooled around his ankles. Finally the other boy was naked and Merlin just a little rumpled.

"Lie on the bed." Arthur turned lying face down on the bed turning so he could see Merlin as he began to undress himself. He did it slowly and seductively. Arthur was painfully hard and squirmed in the bed mouth watering for a taste of that flawless pale skin. Merlin grabbed the lube as he swung a leg over and sat on his hips. Arthur twisted his neck to watch as Merlin touched him self, spreading the lubricant before his back arched and he cried out at the feeling of Merlin's suddenly penetration with a finger. He tried to push back and ride the digit but Merlin held him down. Slowly he stretched and caressed the inside of him. Slowly a second joined the first scissoring and bringing cries and moans softly from Arthur's lips. Merlin leaned down to taste Arthur running his tongue over the smooth curve of his spin pushing in a third finger.

"Please Merlin…please." Merlin kissed his shoulder before shifting so he lay over the older boy and nudged his legs apart. Gently he touched against Arthur laughing as the over boy pushed back on to him and slowly pushed in.

"Fucking hell, Arthur, you're so fucking tight." His hand bunched in the sheets as he tried to wait. Then he gave up letting his hips move thrusting hopelessly. The two moved till they found a rhythm and built up and up both crying and screaming. Until finally Merlin came and fell to on his side wrapping an arm around Arthur to pump him in a continued motion. Watching his face as he came covering sheets, hand and chests. They both lay smiling and staring at each other.

"So, where did you learn that language? I don't think I've ever heard you swear like that." Arthur said stroking his cheek.

"Do you always make those cute keening sounds? They're adorable."

"I do not make cute keening sounds, I grunt in a very manly fashion."

"Maybe for the girls but those were defiantly keening sounds and they were defiantly the cutest thing I have ever heard." Arthur sulked turning over Merlin placed his mouth to his ear.

"I might just think about doing this again so I can hear them." Arthur smiled and rolled kissing Merlin on the nose before standing and walking away. "Hey where are you going?"

"To clean up before I go to sleep." Merlin just smiled.

"Put this away if your heading for the bathroom." He chucked him the tube.

"No way that's staying in the bedside draw. I want it in reach." He passed it back and Merlin smiled ogling his arse as he strode buck-naked across the room to the bathroom.


	21. Happy everoh wait a second

**Kajos: Happy ending as promised!**

The alarm went off and Merlin opened blurry eyes. Arthur behind him groaned.

"What time did you set that stupid alarm for?"

"Nine." Arthur nuzzled the back of his neck.

"Lets, just go back to sleep it's Saturday." Merlin blinked at the date on the clock.

"Arthur, we need to get up."

"Merlin, shut up." He rolled away on to his over side. Merlin sat up and shook him..

"Arthur, it's the 3rd."

"And?"

"The third of March. Ring and bells."

"Shit. Already?"

"Yes." Said Merlin smiling

"We need to get up." The two young men rushed around each other dressing and getting breakfast before climbing in to the new BMW saloon car. Merlin glanced at the back seat. Everything was ready. Arthur drove.

The building was depressing but Arthur and Merlin didn't notice they were too happy. They had been waiting for what seemed like forever for this day. The woman behind the desk directed them to an office. The social worker was waiting for them.

"Well all the paper work is sorted. We can go straight through." Merlin gripped Arthur's hand painfully tight as they walked down the corridor to a small room full of play toys. "Mr Pendragon Mr Emrys `I would like you to meet Ben." The child was at the uncertain age between baby and toddler. Sat on the play mat mouthing a rattle quietly. "He's no trouble at all. Very undemanding."

"I really don't care." Merlin said seeping down to pick up the lad from the floor and hugging him. Ben gurgled in surprise. Arthur just laughed.

"Thank you so much Mrs Fine. You have no idea how much this means to us."

"Don't worry, it's s nice to see children like him placed in a good home."

"He will certainly have that." Said Merlin, Ben now sat on one hip. Arthur moved closer and took the boy.

"Strong little lad isn't he?" he said as Ben grasped a handful of hair. Merlin smiled and gave Arthur a quick kiss.

"Well, now he's our little lad." They went back down and signed on the bottom of the form.

"I know your all ready for him."

"You bet. Merlin went on a shopping spree." They pulled a tiny jacket on to him and carried him out to the car. "We are so lucky so have him."

"Yeah but Arthur eventually we'll have to tell him what happened to his parents." His mother had been raped and died in childbirth.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Till then we have year of parenthood to enjoy."

**Kajos: The next bit is sort of the alternate ending but follows on from this one. It's not so happy; I just had to write it though. If you wanted the happy ending, don't read on.**

Ben was well established now; he had started to walk and was even making particular sounds for things. Merlin knew that very soon he would talk. He and Arthur shared care Merlin worked Monday and Friday and Arthur worked the rest of the week. Merlin's mum was helping as well. She loved her grandson to bits. It was a dreary afternoon when there was a nock at the door. Merlin was expecting his mum so he scooped up Benny and went to answer it.

"Well how about this. Two things that belong to me." No, it couldn't be. He was locked up. This couldn't happen. It must be a nightmare, a bad dream. So why wasn't he waking up. Benny was crying, Merlin was frozen and there was a wicked grin on Jasper's face as he stepped inside the door.


End file.
